The Deal

Chapter 13

I had no idea what I had done. I had slept with Alexander. It was a lot to take in the next day when I snuck out his apartment leaving a note that I had school, some excuse to be able to leave without him thinking I left out of guilt, which I did do.

I had slept with him! And although I want to be able to blame it on drinking the previous night, I knew I wasn't drunk whatsoever!

In fact, I was very alert of what I was choosing to do. But apart of me felt like I needed that escape, just to have a night where all worries were put aside and my mind only focused on the things I wanted to focus on at the time.

Not to mention that although I felt utterly guilty, I don't think I really regret it because I enjoyed it. Is that bad for me to say?

Also what reason do I need to be guilty for?

Well maybe because I like Ben and I'm not sure how it'll work out between us anymore. Yeah we went out like once or twice, and I do like him because he's just different, but last night with Alexander was just- breathtaking.

I seriously felt like I needed advice of sorts the next day so I took a cab home, changed out of my dress from last night, hoping to God that my mother didn't know I wasn't home all night. I took a shower and changed into some skinny jeans and a simple shirt.

After I called Mellisa asking if she wanted to come over. I knew her sister was in town and I knew she'd be super down to come over.

Her exact words were "thank God, I need to get out of this place!"

And within the hour she was pulling into the driveway in her old, ugly ass car.

I ran outside, grabbing her hand and dragging her inside.

"Damn girl, what's wrong with you?!" She laughs out as I dragged her upstairs and into my bedroom.

"Long night, we need to talk." I sit her down, shut my door, turn on my speaker, blasting out my music a little louder than normal. I wasn't about to risk anyone hearing anything I needed to tell Mellisa because I had a lot to say.

I wasn't sure if I was going to tell her about Christian though, because I felt like everything that he had been doing, between looking at me differently, touching my thigh, and basically admitting that the things he was doing around me were things he shouldn't be doing in public.

I just had a lot of shit in a bag that I needed to tell her.

"Okay calm down girl, what's wrong?" She asks, standing up holding onto my shoulder and guiding me on to my bed to sit down.

I take in a deep breath and letting it out. "I did something not ideal.." I whisper trailing off, looking down at my fingers.

She sighs, taking a seat next to me. "You can tell me anything Zaina. Remember we're best friends." She gives me a reassuring smile.

I nod, giving a slight smile.

"I slept with Alexander, Christians friend."

"WHAT?!" She jumps up from the bed, shocked.

"I thought you were gonna tell me that you were dropping out of school, or accidentally robbed a grocery store or something! No- not that you had sex with someone!" She blurts out. "Oh my God you have to tell me all the details! Well not all of them! I met just him and how he is or whatever." She shakes her head as if gathering her thoughts.

"It's not a good thing Melissa! I slept with him! And-" I pause, knowing very well why I was trying to make this seem like a bad thing.

I felt bad because I liked Ben, I also felt bad because there's a man that lives in this house who I'm maybe too attracted to.

Maybe it's a good thing I slept with someone to take my mind off that fact alone.

"And what? You're single, girl! And he's hot from the sounds of it! So- was it good?" She winks. 

I laugh, shaking my head.

Was it good? It was great! And I mean- it was something else. Of course, I had nothing really to compare it to, but if I had- I'm pretty sure last night would win.

"Yeah.." I trail off, laughing nervously.

I was embarrassed. I didn't have much of a sex life and it was weird talking about this because my previous times were so horrible that I didn't even dare to talk about them with Melissa.

"Wow! I can't believe this! I honestly didn't think that you were- well-gonna sleep with him when you were telling me about him." She laughs.

"So is this a potential relationship? Or just a one-time thing? Or like just sex?" She asks, arching her eyebrow.

I shrug. I wasn't sure because I bolted out as soon as I woke up this morning.

"I don't know. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon.." I had a feeling it was just a one-time thing. But I could be okay with that. I was just glad I had a night where I literally had nothing on my mind accept what was happening at that moment.

"Dang. You literally have two potential boyfriends." She murmurs, sitting down.

I bite my lip, debating to tell her about Christian.

In the end, I decided ultimately not to. There was nothing to tell her. Nothing at all!

~~~

"Zaina!" My mom barging into my bedroom. I was kid study- thinking about other things rather than actually studying though.

"Yes mother.." I sigh out, looking up at her. "I'm going ou to town on short notice. They picked me to interview some politician in Washington!" She says excitingly as I looked at her as if she was crazy. Was she literally just gonna go out of town and not really tell me much? Not to mention not tell me until the last second?

I mean I know it's short notice but from the look of it, she was already ready to leave. Not to mention that it was 6 in the afternoon!

"Well, at first they picked Hannah but Hannah fell sick or whatever, so I'm going and I won't be back until Sunday, so I'll leave you my car. Just don't get into Christians way and just be on your best behavior!" She leans down, kissing my forehead before walking out before I can ask her any type of question.

There were so many things wrong with that whole conversation my mother had with me, where I basically got no words in if any at all! First of all, she just didn't even care, she left without really even saying goodbye, which is whatever I don't completely mind. But she kissed my forehead like real mothers do. Which was weird because my mother isn't a real mother! 

I shake my head, she's crazy.

I debated walking out and telling her a formal goodbye, but I figure she'll be back in three days, I'm sure it's fine.