The Deal

Chapter 34

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For the majority of the night, I found myself at the bar, slowly sipping on a glass of champagne well I waited for the night to near its end enough that I'd be able to slip out without it being weird that I was leaving so fast.

I hadn't seen Christian much, which I expected since this was his party, but when I spotted him from afar, a drink in his hands, and alone, I realized he was ignoring me, ignoring being around me.

That made me feel like shit. He hated me, there was no denying that.

Finally, after waiting for what felt like forever, it was 10. I got up, grabbing my clutch, ready to head out. I figured I'd grab a cab and leave the limo for Christian.

I adjusted my gown, smoothing it out. I loved it. The dress was probably even too beautiful for me. Though it made me feel somewhat special, I had to admit.

"Dance with me." I turn around, my eyebrows arching when Christian stood before me, his hand out for me to grab. I narrow my eyes, studying his face, though most of it was covered by his mask. "Is this a trick question?" I ask quietly. He shakes his head. "It isn't a question."

I stared at him, I felt confused but I forced myself to grab his hand. A smile crossed his face as he stared at our hands. He then lead us away to the middle of the floor where people were slow dancing around us.

He pulls my body close to him, his left hand at my waist and the other holding my hand. I lay my free hand on his shoulder, starting to slow dance with him. I wasn't the best at slow dancing, and quite frankly I wasn't even sure how to do it, but I followed his lead, making sure not to step on his shoes.

I glance up at him, he was staring at me, which made my heart fasten in my chest. "I'm sorry," I manage to say. I wasn't sure if this was the right time to apologize, or if I even needed to apologize. I felt obligated to, I knew that much. "There's nothing to be sorry about." He mutters, his eyes leaving mine, glancing around us. "I think there is."

"Plus, you never allowed me to explain myself," I add. "I don't think there's anything to explain." He gave me a small, fake smile before adjusting his hold on my waist. "What if I want to explain?" I ask.

"As I said, there's nothing to explain." He sounded a bit annoyed, but I myself was annoyed. I think I deserve a chance to explain myself! I needed him to stop hating me.

"I need to explain myself." I correct. His jaw clenched but his eyes finally laid back on mine. "Fine." He said so low I wasn't sure if I imagined it.

"When I started seeing Alexander, I thought it was because I liked him, or something like that-" I start explaining, darting my eyes anywhere else but on him. He seemed uncomfortable which made me even more uncomfortable than I already was. "Then I thought it was because I needed a distraction from my life, from school, my mom, yours and my mom's relationship."

I forced my eyes back on him. He was staring at me, though I couldn't read his expression through the mask he wore. "But it was neither of those. I wasn't with Alexander because I cared for him, I wasn't with him because he was a distraction from my life- I was with him because I knew if I was, there was no way I would ever allow myself to be with you, and he was the closest thing I'd ever allow myself to get to you."

Our dancing stopped, we just stared at each other for what felt like forever well everyone else around us, danced.

I dropped my hand from his, and backed away from him. "thank you." With that, I turned on my feet and walked away.