Early August 2017
(Hyungsik's Narrative)
Following the advice of Hyeyeon's mom, I took Hyeyeon to the accommodation next to the local hospital, with hopes of helping her to catch up on her sleep.
"Don't worry. We'll call you immediately once dad wakes up," Hyewon noona assured as she pushed us out of the door.
Despite Hyeyeon's initial protests, her body fell right into a state of rest once she's slipped off her Converse, plopping right onto the bed.
She was truly worn out, and there was no way her physical self could hide it. Without getting the comforter off the sheets, she laid motionlessly on top of it, her head on the fluffy white pillow, her arms on her either sides.
After this morning's commotion, Hyeyeon had opened up about her deepest fears, and I was glad to be on the receiving end, taking it all in. To be there for her, to be her greatest supporter during her most vulnerable moment, so that she knows she's never alone in it all.
Having known her for all these years, I've come to terms that Hyeyeon struggled much in her own thoughts, and she would often put up a mask that read "I'm fine" while her heart was clearly otherwise. Beneath her cool exterior, Hyeyeon was an unchanging soul who was afraid of showing the world her weakness. Keeping things to herself was second nature to her; she was never fond of the idea of having others to worry about her.
Yet after a certain point in time, her very choice of keeping things concealed did her more harm than good. Instead of facing her fears, Hyeyeon would run away from them. With all the recent havoc happening all at once, I had been afraid that the threshold which she has been stretching might break from the pull.
The stress she was going through must be unimaginable, but her breaking down meant that she was not ready to let go just yet.
That she was not giving up on her dad.
That she was not giving up on us.
Just then, a soft moan from Hyeyeon's lips kept me on the edge, as her hands curled around the side of her arms. Noticing her subconscious acting, I sat on the other side of the bed, moving my hands carefully around her feeble frame. With a slight pull, I made sure the comforter rested on top of her, covering the top of her neckline to the tip of her toes.
Not wanting to disrupt her slumber with any more movements, I decided against leaving the bed. Leaning my head against the cushioned bedhead, I sat and watched Hyeyeon's soft breaths returning to a rhythmic interval of her own, her body relaxed as the coldness creeping on her skin vanished.
I found myself smiling at her slightly parted lips, peaceful in her sleep. A quiet chuckle came out along with my breath, watching Hyeyeon fall asleep has never been so calming.
From my angle, although she appeared weary, her sight was lovely to behold. Her features stood out to me against her snow-white skin and her long dark brown hair. My fingers, filled with good intentions, began sweeping the bangs off her forehead, tracing across the chilliness of her skin in the process. From the edge of her forehead, my fingers went its own way, following the curves of her cheeks, until they came to the peak of her chin, just inches away from her thin lips.
I swallowed the lump of saliva that came my way, startled at the intensity of my own thoughts. I pulled back in an instant, unable to continue.
She's here. She's really here. Next to me. Catching up on the sleep that hadn't come her way... until now. Don't do anything stupid, Sik.
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