aimer moi | alemanda ✓

chapter thirty

Alesha

"How about Ashley Diane?" I asked, looking at the meanings of the two names. We were trying to figure out names for the twins before they were due. We had eight weeks before my actual due date, Theo's first birthday.

Amanda hummed. "I'm not sure about it. What does it mean?"

"Ashley means from the ash tree field and Diane means divine," I replied. "Have you found any names yet for our little girl?"

"I like the name Hollie Rose."

"What's the meaning?" I questioned, leaning over to look at the baby name book Amanda was looking through. "Holy or holly tree. What does Rose mean?"

"Flower. It seems graceful to me," Amanda replied. "Should we wait to see what she looks like before we decide on her name?"

"I think we should do that with our son as well. Find two names we like and see what he looks like after he comes out."

Amanda flipped to the little boy name section of her book and found a page that she had marked the night before. "I really like the name Abel but I can't find anything that goes with it for a middle name."

"I think I found a name that could work with Abel. How about naming our son Abel Zaire?" I replied. Amanda nodded and smiled.

"That's perfect for him and we both love it," Amanda said. She placed a hand on my stomach and closed her book. I closed my book and set both of the books on my nightstand. "How do you want to have the twins. We haven't talked about that yet and their birth is coming up soon."

"I don't know. I had a c-section with Azura because I didn't think I could handle the pain. I want to push them out though. I was debating about doing a water birth or having the twins in the delivery room. I don't know if I'm going to want an epidural yet though," I replied. "I do know I want to breastfeed them after they're born."

"Will you be able to breastfeed two babies at the same time?" Amanda questioned, still rubbing my stomach.

"I think so. There's positions I can do to make breastfeeding comfortable. I can get a special pillow for it though," I replied. I placed my hand on top of Amanda's and she kissed my cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," Amanda replied. She got out of bed and turned the light to our bedroom off. She climbed back into bed as I laid down on my back. She put her head onto my chest, trying to avoid the swell of my now larger breasts but didn't find it comfortable. Amanda moved her head to my shoulder and remarked, "the twins are making cuddling difficult now."

"They've made my breasts explode in size," I replied. It was true, my breasts were much larger than they had earlier in my pregnancy. I had small breasts almost all of my life and this was the largest they had ever been, including when I had breastfed Azura when she was a baby. I placed a hand on my stomach and Amanda put hers over it.

She tilted her head up and gave me a kiss goodnight before I heard her breathing even out, telling me she was now asleep.

[]

I sat in the rocking chair of the twins' nursery, rocking back and forth, singing softly to them. I had woken up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and I couldn't fall back asleep after.

"Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
And hold it tight.

"I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry.

"For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry.

"'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always-"

The door to the nursery creaked open and Amanda came into the bedroom. "Can't sleep? I heard you singing. How come you never sing when I'm around?"

"I don't sing that much. I more do it to calm myself," I replied, shrugging. "I'm nervous about having the twins, Amanda," I admitted.

She came over to me and helped me stand up. She stood behind me and wrapped her arms around me, resting her hands on my stomach. Amanda was shorter than I was by a good six inches. She swayed me side to side in her arms.

"You're going to be fine, Alesha. I know you and you'll have our twins without a complication. The doctors are going to make sure of that," Amanda reassured. She started to hum the same song that I had been singing to the twins in the rocking chair a couple of minutes before. It was reassuring to hear Amanda humming to me and she swayed me side to side in her arms. "Why are you so nervous?"

"I had a planned c-section for Azura's birth. I never was in labour with her. This will be my first ever labour," I admitted. It was true. I had never been in labour because it had been a planned c-section, nor had I had contractions on the day of it. I was scared and nervous about how much how much pain I would be in trying to give birth vaginally.

"You're going to be fine, babe," Amanda reassured again. "Come on, let's go back to bed. Its the middle of the night."

I let Amanda lead me back to our bed and help me get in. She put her head on my chest and a hand on my stomach. She fell asleep quickly but I still lay awake.

[] hey guys! Alesha's got some concerns about giving birth now. She's getting nervous. What do you think is going to happen next and what did you love about this chapter? Bye until the next chapter!