playing by the rules || j.jk

XXIII

"Chapter 23"

_________________________

Ji-Young's POV:

In my tent I felt flustered. Thoughts ran through my head and a million miles per second while next to me, Mina snored lightly, occasionally muttering or giggling, or kissing her pillow (probably imagining it as Jimin). I thought about Taehyung, how his lips moved against mine, how he was aggressive and harsh but then I also saw the hurt in his eyes, the tears that glazed over them. But whenever I thought about that, I also saw Jungkook, protecting me. It was clear and like everyone else, I knew it, that my feelings had moved to Jungkook. But Tae Tae had always been there for me. Tae had never bullied me. Jungkook had.

The thoughts began to grow too much and I was beginning to spiral down a long, dark chasm of scenarios. Nausea was growing in the pit of my stomach. My hands were clammy and the back of my neck sticky with sweat. My heart was racing. So I turned to the only thing I knew would calm me down.

I got dressed, tied my hair back and ran back to the toilets. Old habits were refreshed in the bathroom stall and afterwards, I ran.

Jungkook's POV:

Stirring, Jimin kicked me when I let the cold into the tent and shuffled further into his sleeping bag. I rolled my eyes at the elder boy, laying down next to him and attempting to sleep. At first I couldn't and simply turned back and forth restlessly until a half asleep Jimin suddenly had my neck wrapped in his arm.

"GO TO BED AND STOP WAKING ME UP OR YOU'LL BE CAST OUT ONTO THE MUD!" Jimin yelled. He was already pissed because of Taehyung leaving the tent because usually Taehyung gave us both warmth. I hadn't yet told Jimin why I threw him out but Jimin knew I would have a good reason because Taehyung is one of my best and longest friends.

In fear, I nodded and laid down as soon as Jimin let me out of his choke hold and returned into his cocoon of a sleeping bag, tightening the hood of it around his head and falling sleep quickly. I sighed, humming a Troye Sivan song in my head and slowly falling asleep.

It was probably some time around 2am when I woke up again. Unsure of what was waking me up, I tried to sleep again. But a bad feeling settled in my stomach, churning and making me feel nauseated. I guessed that perhaps I had a bad reaction to one of the meals but they had all been good meals and I felt no sensation to actually vomit nor fart nor relieve myself in any way shape or form. I questioned again why I could be feeling this way but I hit a blank. Now it was much too late for me to even attempt to sleep now. I was awake.

I sighed, pulling myself out of the warm embrace of my sleeping bag and pulled on a pair of jeans over my underwear and a hoodie over that. Quietly, I zipped the tent shut and put on my shoes in the thin strip between the entrance and the living area before walking outside towards the field.

It was still dark, only the moonlight illuminating the space around. Yet even that light was hazy due to the cloud cover and the light of the camp was too distant. The ground was wet from the light drizzle of rain and squelched underfoot. Picking up my pace, I began to skim the outskirts of the forest, jogging the very outskirt of the field. This would tire me out.

Around a third of the way around the field, approaching halfway, within the dark I could see a shrouded shape and audible grunts could be heard. I wasn't quite sure if it was an animal but curiosity got the better of me and I carried on jogging forward. The grunts turned to whines and sniffles and mumbled profanities. And there, doing sit-ups in the wet mud, was Ji-Young.

She turned and her teary eyes met mine, filling with guilt. She knew she did wrong. I told her to stop continuously. Her glance went to the floor and she mumbled sorry under her breath. It made sense now why I couldn't sleep. I was always able to sense when something was wrong, especially when it concerned someone I cared about.

"What the fuck are you doing out here this late?" I took a few steps closer but as I reached to touch her she flinched away.

"I-I couldn't sleep, I wanted to burn some energy."

"Look at me and tell the truth."

"I am telling the truth." Her voice faltered. She's lying. I raised an eyebrow and moved closer, sitting in front of her. With my hand, I raised her head so she'd look at me and everytime she attempted to turn her gaze, I forced her to look at me again. I took her muddy hands in mine and continued to look at her, knowing she'd crack.

"I-I-" 

"Let me guess, you felt bad so you threw up and came out here to exercise again?" I already knew, the scent of vomit on her breath gave it all away.

"I felt guilty okay. Everything is my fault. When I'm scared, I do this." Tears started streaming down her face and hiccups start. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around her and pull her head into my chest. She sobs violently to the point I can feel the tears leaking through the fabric of my shirt onto my bare skin. Her fist gently hits my chest as she sobs "WHY DO I HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!" She hiccups and sobs even more, balling her fists tightly. 

"Shhh, it's okay." I kiss her head, rubbing her back in slow gentle motions. She begins to calm down but shivering sets in quickly due to her little clothing and I wrap one hand behind her back and another under her legs, carrying her bridal style back towards the camp. Birds begin to chirp and light teases the horizon so I guess it is somewhere between 3 and 4am.

-

Back at the camp, I open my tent up and lay her inside before carrying Jimin in the same way and putting him inside Mina and Ji-Young's tent. I leave a quick note for them so they do not misunderstand each other but they're  dating anyway, they shouldn't mind sleeping together. I just can't fathom Ji-Young going back out there. She's already so thin compared to how she was a year ago. 

I collected her sleeping bag, her cleaning products and her pyjamas in my arms and walked back to the tent quickly. I set her belongings down where Jimin's were before and in her groggy state, I undressed her from her mud and sweat stained clothing into her pyjama's.

"T-thank you Jungkook." She said half asleep. 

"It's okay princess" I kissed her head, lying her down. Quickly, I changed into my pyjama's too and laid down next to her. "Just promise me one thing, call it my second wish of my five."

"Mhm, go ahead." One eye opened slightly.

"Never do that again, stop exercising unhealthily. If you want to exercise, do it with me. Don't vomit again, unless you are sick. And if you feel like you want to do that again, instead come to me and talk to me. Okay?"

"I think that's more than one wish." She laughed weakly. "But okay." Out of her sleeping bag she produced her pinky finger and I wrapped mine around it, simultaneously touching my thumb to hers. She laughed, her eyes dragging down with the weight of fatigue and soon enough her heavy breaths of sleep were the only noise besides the birds outside and the distant sound of Namjoon's snoring.

Gazing upon her face, I admired it, taking in every one of her features. Sadness filled me to know she felt that way, that once I made her feel that way. How I used to tease her, make fun of Taehyung for befriending her, how I tripped her over in the halls, stole her lunch, did anything to make her feel terrible. And now, even with my years of torment, she still cared for me, more than she cared for herself. I reached out, stroked a hair from her cheek and fell asleep with her in my embrace. 

At that moment I realised I want to spend the rest of my life like this. With her in my arms. 

***

Ahhh guys I'm dead this was a shit but adorable chapter. Also Euphoria can we just take a minute.... anyway.

About 2 chapters left and then an epilogue ♥

Also I have a question... my friend and I were talking about theories and mainly the Omelas theory (the theory I believe) and we were adding to the omelas theory from the Euphoria video. ANYWAY I had the idea to write a book based off of the Omelas theory and everything that has happened between I Need U and this Euphoria video. It would involve the time travellers thing, the dark angel, the boy who was locked away, all of this and likely would be through Jimin's eyes...

Please comment on the line with your answer.

YES PLEASE WRITE IT

No don't write it.