.im odd.

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why does the imagery or peeling back the skin on my arm entice me.
i want to do it
so i can feel it burn and sting
so it hurts
so it kills me
i want to open it up
and smile at the blood fall
im weird
im odd
i just want to relieve my stress
no that isnt it
i want to kill my arm
so its useless
i want it gone
im so far lost
i want to hurt something
myself
i want to kill myself
march 15 was the date
but im still here
i fucking lied to myself
i wanted to die.
...
maybe i can cut tonight
the same month i started my addiction to cutting
it felt so good to feel a different pain
it hurts yes it does
but in a good way
i want to feel it again
forget her
forget her
shes not
she is important
but
so is this
so is cutting
i like seeing red
its not the complimentary color of blue
how i feel
but its the color of rage anger and love
how i feel too
i want to see flow out
i want to die
i want to cry
i want to tell her goodbye

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