Prestigent

Prestigent (Chapter 28)

 Irony is sooooooooooooooooooooooo sad ;(

CHAPTER 28

CALEB POV

I slowly go through every step, careful with the rare chemicals. I get to the end of the page where the rip reveals that there is a missing part. I stop what I am doing and take off my gloves carefully. I look at the jar filled with chemicals. I sigh and after a while, I get up from my chair, my back aching. I must let it sit for 48 hours before I continue. Eventually I must get the third piece form Tobias... I am reluctant to ask him...

I am still not sure if I made the right decision... Tris... Cara... My memories with them are swirling together, merging. I rub my temples to alleviate my migraine. Lately I have been getting these headaches often. I read somewhere that it may be related to stress...

I step outside into the too bright sunlight, squinting down the street at Cara's empty house. The movers are supposed to come sometime tomorrow to burn her stuff. I walk over to her old house and enter, the door being unlocked. I look at all the useless objects around me. I walk over to her desk, looking through all of her notes. Her mind was brilliant.

I miss her.

Numbers, letters, and equations flood my mind, distracting me from this twisted life. At the bottom of the drawer was a notebook. I open it, not expecting what was written there. They were not lab notes, the notebook was a journal. I read it, curiosity overcoming me.

Dear Journal,

It increasingly grows more difficult to think, to breathe, to be. I don't think I can bear much more of this twisted life. We lost Zeke not too long ago. Shauna has been very depressed since then... I hope things get better with her... that was the last thing she needed then... the most ironic thing was that it all happened at Uriah's grave... I miss him too...

Dear Journal,

Today I began dating Caleb. I think he may be the one, but there is always that cloud of doubt. Doubt and depression are beginning to overtake me. I can't breathe, I'm not myself. My actions are clouded, my memory is fading. Today I cried for the first time in years. I have begun to notice a decline in IQ. I don't even know if my experiments are successful or fails anymore...

I hope with very ounce of my withered, dying being that Caleb can help me, can bring me back from the dead. I still have kept it silent from everyone why I am so depressed. I am dying. I diagnosed myself with cancer of the brain...

Dear Journal,

It is getting increasingly harder to control my thoughts. I am not the genius I used to be. Frankly, I could have found a cure for this disease in a reasonable amount of time, but it is EATING MY BRAIN! No one knows yet...

Dear Journal,

Today Caleb and I started a joint research project on cloning... I hope he doesn't notice... I struggle with the small tasks he gives me anyway like to extract adenine, guanine, etc. (I say etcetera because, in all honesty, I really don't know...)

I think the cancer has begun to affect my emotions. I don't love him anymore... I don't love Caleb, though I may tell him... I have begun to have feelings for Tobias... it's always been him, though he was so distant and unapproachable. And once again nobody knows.

Dear Journal,

Nobody knows anything... nothing, zip... I'm like a locked door, no matter how much they pry, they still haven't heard my secrets. Only you...

Dear Journal,

I realize now why I am talking to you. I am going insane. I hide it well I think, but when I am here alone, just thinking, it really shows. I mean really, speaking to a journal, an object. Notebooks have no soul, no heart, no brain (just like I may be soon...) I assume I could tell Caleb. Maybe he can help this insanity. I think I'll tell him later tonight after we get home from the Bean...

I throw the notebook to the side, tears rolling from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry... it's all my fault..."