why | park woojin

epilogue

we booked a huge hall for him, his family, friends from busan and some new ones he made while in seoul all came.

we were seated at the corner of the room, we didn't talk, none of us said anything when eunjin walked up towards me. her eyes were red, her cheeks were puffed up and her breath wasn't stable as she spoke to me, "h-here, woojin wanted me to give this to you," she handed me an envelope and reassured me that she didn't open it before running back into daehwi's arms attempting to comfort the crying boy but ending up crying herself too.

i didn't want to open the letter, i stuck it in my wallet as jinyoung,jihoon and i sat quietly at our table, silently mourning over the loss of someone we loved...

"hyerin, its time for you to say you're speech," i hadn't realised that i had been spacing out until it was my turn to go up on stage.

"hello everyone, i'm kim hyerin...i'm also woojin's girlfriend," i was on the verge of tears as i said that, but i held myself back. "woojin was a very i-important part of my life, being there with me since we were kids till now, i'm grateful and very blessed to have spent the last year or so being someone just as important to him too, w-woojin ah, watch over us, i love you..." i ended as a tear slipped, followed by another, and another and jinyoung had to help me down and give me a hug.

"it's alright, he doesn't have to suffer anymore, he's in a better place now,"

+

a few days past and i hadn't been going to school, i rarely ate anything and i didn't touch my phone at all which led to countless texts,calls and visits from the daehwi,jihoon and jinyoung.

even taehyung tried to get me out but it wouldn't work because i'd just push him away.

+

"you can't keep hiding away from this, it'll only make it worse," he started while i leaned against the door contemplating wether or not to open it. "he wouldn't want to see you like this, this might sound really sappy but you have so many other people worrying for you and he's one of them, none of us want to see you like this so come out and talk to us about it," i didn't reply for about 5 minutes and he was about to leave when i cracked the door open slowly. he immediately engulfed me into a hug, "look at you, you're all pale and skinny," he hugged me tighter, "what would you do without me," he sighed and giggled a little.

"thank you jihoon," i sobbed slightly.

"he handed over the responsibility to the 3 of us now you know? i don't even know how he took care of you alone when the 3 of us can't even take care of you!" i heard jinyoung from the side and a smile formed on my face.

"you guys are really the best..."

+

weeks passed, the wounds and scars were healing yet i hadn't opened the letter.

i was afraid. afraid of the truth finding me again, afraid of having to face the harsh reality and most importantly, having to face whatever he wrote in the letter.

but i decided to open it, i knew i couldn't keep running away from my problems, they would just come back to hunt me again. i got all this knowledge from countless therapy sessions from daehwi and jinyoung.

i opened it,read the first 2 words and already wanted to cry.

to hyerin <3

if you're reading this i'll probably have left so i hope you never have to read this but if you are i want to say i'm sorry. i'm sorry for leaving you alone again, i'm sorry for always hiding this illness from you, and i'm sorry for all the pain i caused.

the moment i stepped into this school i knew one way or another fate would bring us back together again, cliche i know but it was true. we did end up meeting again after the weirdest incident lmao and in so grateful i did.

thank you for being my pillar of support through thick and thin,thank you for being there through my weird mood swings and most importantly thank you for being there with me on my last day (i just know you're the last person i'm gonna see if i do go)

i hope you don't dwell on this for too long, i want you to go out into the world brighter than ever, go have fun, be happy, find someone new, do all the things you wanted us to do together. i don't want to see you suffering because of me or i'll feel guilty in heaven forever haha... i just know you're gonna cry while reading this god dammit hyerin, now i feel like crying too. anyway, i hope you stay happy and healthy, remember i'll always love you no matter what.

<3 park woojin

tears stained my now read cheeks and i smiled a little. "i love you too woojin, and i always will..."

+

a/n: GUYS IM FINALLY DONE WITH THIS BOOK AHHAHAHA. SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT FOR THE CHAPTERS AND FOR THE HORRIBLE WRITING I SUCK LOL ANYWAY IK THE ENDINGS SAD BUT I DIDNT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO I KINDA HAD A BRAINFART BUT ANYWAY HOPE YOU ENJOYED I LOVE YALL SM!