A Kind Girl In A Cruel World (Grey's Anatomy AU)

Chapter Nine

After I picked Lara up for our date and drove her to the beach, we both got out of the car.
"Wow, Alki Beach is still as beautiful as I remember."
"How long has it been since you've been here?" I asked.
"A few years. I've just been so busy with work, I haven't had time for much else." she sighed.
"Same here, but I always have time for you."
I reached out and took her by the hand while we were walking along.
"Me too."
She smiled softly and squeezed my hand.
God, I love Lara so much, but I can't tell her that now. It's not the right time yet.
After a few minutes of silence had passed, she asked me if I was okay.
"Yeah, I'm fine... just thinking."
I scratched the back of my neck.
"Thinking about what?"
"Nothing too important."
"You can tell me anything, George. Is something wrong?"
"No, everything's great! I just..."
"Come on, let's sit down for a bit." she said. We walked over to a bench and sat down.
I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and smiled.
She looked away, and her cheeks turned pink.
"Why are you staring at me?" she laughed.
"Because you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." I said.
"Yeah, right."
"You are."
"Oh, George. Do you really believe that?"
"I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true."
"I guess I'm not used to this. I haven't had a decent relationship in quite awhile, and nobody's ever really called me beautiful."
"Obviously those other guys had no idea what they had."
I took both of her hands.
"George, you're going to make me tear up."
She chuckled and wiped her eyes.
"Sorry."
"It's okay. It's a good thing."
I pulled her up so we could walk around the beach some more, then I put my arm around her waist.
The words 'I love you' kept running through my mind, and I just wanted to blurt them out, but I tried not to.
"George, you're tightening up. Are you alright?"
Lara looked at me.
"Yep, I'm fine."
I started to tense up, and my hands got all shaky and clammy. It felt like I was about to have a heart attack.
"George, are you sure you're alri-"
"Lara, I freaking love you!" I yelled.
"George, what'd you just-"
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. This moment is just so perfect, and I thought this would be the right time to tell you. I've been wanting to tell you that for awhile now."
"George, I-I don't even know what to say."
"Just say you love me too. That's all I need to hear."
"George, I can't. This is all moving too fast. I-I can't, I'm sorry."
She started walking away, and I chased after her.
"Lara, please wait."
"I need time to think about what you just said, George."
"Can I at least drive you home?" I asked.
"Nope, it's fine. I'll walk."
She walked off the beach and onto the street, and I knelt down in the sand and waited... hoping she'd come back, like it was some kind of practical joke.
When she didn't come back, that's when I knew that I blew it. Why did I say that? I always know how to screw things up with girls that I like.
I went back to my car and just sat in it for awhile.
"You are so stupid, George! Why did you have to go and say that?!" I yelled at myself. I hit my head on the steering wheel a few times and even cussed myself out a little.
After my rant was over, I drove home and sat in my room. I was tempted to call Lara and apologize, to tell her that I wasn't serious, but that might just make things worse. Maybe I wasn't serious... perhaps it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing. No, I was serious. My feelings for her are very real.