Mimic

Pillow Talk

For a blissful moment, I didn't remember anything when I woke up the next morning. Then it all came back to me.

I looked around the room for Dick and found him in an arm chair, and me in his bed. He was already awake and on his phone, but he put it away the when he saw that I was awake. He got up and sat next to me on the bed.

"Y'know, that was the first time a girl has ever slept in my bed," he said, breaking the silence in typical Dick fashion.

It was funny, but I couldn't bring myself to laugh. Not when the man who said it almost died at my hands.

I hate myself.

I've always hated myself, but it was different now. My hatred was a pit deep inside my heart that despised every fiber of my being.

I hated that I let the Joker abuse me. I hated that I took this mission without hesitation. I hated that I befriended my targets, knowing that it would complicated matters, and I hated that I had to manipulate the people I love.

But most of all, I hated that I stood before the man I love, fully intending to murder him.

Originally, I was more upset with me not being able to kill him. But now, in the light of day, I saw that the true crime was that the only reason Dick is alive to comfort me is that I accidentally awoke him. There is not a doubt in my mind that if I didn't sob, Dick would be dead.

I told him all this, and more. I told him everything. About my family, my mission, and about last night. He listened, saying nothing. When I finished he just sat there, staring at our intertwined fingers. His silence terrified me. I prepared myself for his eventual harsh words and hard fists, knowing that I deserved all of it.

"I..." he trailed off, uncertain of his next words, "I'm going to help you."

"What?"

"I'm going to help you," he said again, this time absolute.

"Did you not hear all of what I just said?" I asked incredulously.

"I did. Everything you've done has been against your will; it isn't your fault."

I was stunned. I knew that Dick liked to see the best in me, but I didn't think he'd ever go to this extent. Sure, I've been acting with the threat of my father hanging over my head. But my actions have been my own.

"Dick I was going to kill you."

"But you didn't."

"Because of a fluke!"

"Because it's not who you are."

"It is!" I yelled. He was taken aback by my volume but I didn't stop. "I'm a worthless monster and I don't deserve you."

Dick put his hands on my shoulders and stared into my watery eyes.

"Don't ever say that, Julia. I know it'll be hard for you to forgive yourself, but I want you to know that I already have, and I know that everyone else will too."

"Everyone else?"

"You need to tell the team. And Bruce," Dick said sternly.

I hesitantly nodded, knowing that he was right but dreading the discussion anyway.

"And we also need to figure out what to do about the Joker and the target he's about to draw on your forehead."

"I can only think of one option," I said, "And the chances of it working are slim."

"Well, what is it?" Dick asked, as hopeful as ever.

"I run."

Dick burst out laughing. When he saw my hurt expression, he quickly stopped. "Sorry," he said, "but we can't run away from this."

"Then what do you suggest," I snapped, annoyed at how lightly he was taking this topic.

Dick smirked his trademark smirk.

"We fight."