aurora
i gazed hardly at its surface. i was so concentrated at its engraved deepened dots. the canvas was blank, simple, and dry. i thought at this point it resembled the girl with strands of hair cascading down from her ponytail that tickled the tip of my nose. which was me. i sighed feeling his gaze on me from the sudden sound.
i also heard his shuffling as he placed both hands on my shoulders causing the most satisfying goosebumps to kiss down my spine. which seemed to always occur when i felt the way his fingers could be wrapped around parts of my body so elegantly.
this time i kept my eyes shut, relaxed and pleased with his presence. "i love you."
and there it was. the three words that caused it all. i just wanted to try something different - which is why i added art to my schedule - and because of the sudden desire for distinction from everyone else it led up to those three words. the three damn words that were twitched within a lie. but i didn't ask for this. i did not want his hands, his lips, his eyes, and mostly his smile to whisper the worst, false accusations.
but i too did the same. i pasted a grin and turned my neck so my vision was now caught with his. and muttered the same lie.
"i love you too."
"hey aurora you want to snap out of it?" vivian snapped her fingers directly between my eyes to get my attention.
vivian and i always walked to calculus together. we continued to sway our hands to the rhythm of our steps. "oh sorry." i mumble.
she shakes her head now looking in front of the both of us instead of at me when she continues to talk, "i swear you keep doing that more and more everyday."
at this point we remained silent and the only sound that seemed audible was the mumbles of the voices around us.
"aurora!" i turned my neck to let my vision lock on the girl with painted freckles within the skin on her face. i kept my eyes to linger a second longer noticing the yellow, knitted sweater that rested on her shoulders loosely. she caught up now walking beside vivian and i, a simper now beginning to cross her lips.
"hey girly." vivian announced. she waved with her free hand and began to speak as well.
"hey, who's ready for another day in hell with mr. smith?" this sprouted the smallest yet noticeable eye roll to possess from mine. madeline had this quite unique sense humor. it was utterly intolerable yet also addicting. i couldn't explain it that well.
but i shook my head making a left turn down the hallway with everyone else. "i hate calc, so i don't think i ever will be."
"she's right. i can't take much of his talking any longer." a voice from behind my back added to my response and i took note right away of who it was without gaping. jack's arms now clung around my waist whilst his head laid on mine. i smiled warmly before lightly laughing.
"you can't do that, jack." i averred.
"and why not?" he remarked. jack and i's relationship was invariably consisting of ignorance and unlabeled words. i had certain feelings for the boy but that was another lie within a somewhat other lie. this was because of the unknown situation during the summer that lead to things now being never explained or confronted about.
but i hooked hands slightly without anyone else's notice only to shake my head, not fully answering his question. that was until another arm was wrapped around my body shortly before we pulled apart. our eyes catching sorrow as we let go.
"hi baby." i smiled, my lips trying to portray happiness to david. you would think after the consistent company of my boyfriend i would learn to truly enjoy his presence. however in this case i was dwindling with every word that rolled off my tongue for his ears.
