Even If It's Not Me|SaiDa

16

[ A/N : I'm suggesting to you guys to play I Almost Do of Taylor Swift while reading this for you guys to feel it more. ]

Dahyun.

Everytime I don't,
I almost do.

Kagat kagat ko ang kuko ko habang nakaearphone dito sa may sala.

Nakatunganga lang naman kase ako. Nagpunta silang lahat sa market maliban kay Sana na naunang umalis kanina.

Ilang araw narin nung mag usap kami ni Nayeon unnie.

Gustung gusto kong kausapin si Sana, kase di ko na kaya na ganito.

Nasasaktan at nahihirapan na ko knowing na alam kong wala na siya sa akin.

Despite of everything, it's all my fault so I don't have the right para magreklamo ng ganito.

Natatakot akong tignan ang mga mata niya sa bawat araw because she's always giving me a cold stare.

Mga tingin, na kailanman hindi niya ginawa noon sa akin.

And here I am. I ended up crying. I ended up in tears.

Ang laki kong tanga para hindi ko makita ang halaga niya.

At ngayon hirap na hirap ako kase nasaktan ko siya.

Until someone enter the door. She's smiling but when she just met my gaze her emotion gets blank.

She's about to walk away from me and then I stand.

"Are you avoiding me?" I asked straightly looking into her eyes.

"Dahyun, why would I?" she said coldly.

"Don't state the obvious! You're avoiding me and I can't take it anymore!" I blurted out as burst out crying.

"Because it's the right thing to do. I'm so damn tired of being rejected so I have decided to think of myself first and left until you realize that I'm the one that you needed to." madiin niyang sabi.

"And you won! 'Coz the time that you just started to avoid me it's just slowly killing me!" I said while sobbing. "Is that easy to treat me nothing. Am I not important to you?!" I added.

"Do you think it's easy? It's painful and it's really hard na tiisin ka. 'Coz after everything na nakasakit sa akin mahal na mahal padin kita. Now you know what I feel! Now you know how painful it is kapag di kana mahalaga sa taong sobrang pinahalagahan ka noon!" she said and I saw her tears finally fell.

"Ang sakit dito." turo ko sa dibdib ko. "Sobrang bigat na parang bang anytime sasabog kase nangungulila ako at nalulungkot mula ng lumayo ka. Ang sakit sakit, at ang makakaayos lang nito ay ang pagbalik mo. Kase hindi ko na kaya. Di ko na kayang nagkakaganyan tayong dalawa." I cried more, I just let her to see me suffering just to prove that I need her.

"I can't comeback to you. Natatakot ako na maulit yung sakit na dulot mo." umiiyak niyang sabi.

I step closer to her. I just wipe her tears, tip toes as I kiss her eyes.

"Trust me right now please. Ako naman ngayon ang hayaan mong lumaban para sa atin." pakiusap ko.

She's just looking at me. Nakikita kong napapaisip siya at kita kong nagpatuloy ang pagdaloy ng mga luha niya.

"Do you know what I said when the day I decided to left you? Go on, be with her. Basta tatandaan mo lang na sa oras na paiyakin ka ulit niya, hindi ako aalis balikan mo ko kung saan mo ko iniwan. Mananatili ako kahit na anong mangyare pero sana sa susunod mong pagbalik eh ako na, ako na yung laman niyang puso mo hindi na siya." litanya niya. "Hindi mo lahat narinig yun pero gusto kong malaman mo na tototohanin ko. Pero ang tanong, ako na ba? Ako na ba ang laman ng puso mo?" she added.

"Bakit ganyan ka noon? Bakit sinasaktan mo yung sarili mo dahil sakin? I'm grateful to have you, but I was just afraid to admit that I'm slowly deeply falling inlove with you, Sana. I was just afraid of being hurt again and to hurt someone that's why I can't say that now it's you." I confessed. "Natatakot lang akong masaktan si Momo noon. And now, I was brave enough and I'm free to love you. No more pain and yes, now it's you." umiiyak padin ako habang sinasabi ko ang mga salitang yun.

Hinawakan niya ang pisngi ko bago tuluyang magsalita.

"Do you know that everytime that you are alone pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong lapitan ka. Masakit para sa aking hindi ka hanapin kapag umaalis ka dahil mamamatay ata ako sa pag aalala. Ang hirap para sa aking baliwalain ka. And I want you to know, everytime that I don't. I almost do." sincere niyang sabi.

"I love you, Sana. And no more pain because I'm all here to love you." buong pusong sabi ko.

"I love you more, Dahyun. And I giving my whole heart for you." she smiled.

"SaiDa is back?" I asked.

She smiled again as she gave me a peck on the lips.

"SaiDa never ended. It's just the beginning, my love."

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The End.

Charot lang! Ahahahaha.