You make me ache

Ch29: Doctors and Desperation.

Troye's POV.

 Wails of the ambulance sirens blast into my head as we race towards the hospital. The paramedic has removed the glass from my wound but I am unwilling to look at it, fearful for how much damage my body has obtained. As the ambulance races to the hospital, the trolley I am lying on jerks and my abdomen burns with pain at each harsh corner we take. I need Tyler- I should have been back at the apartment by now and I know that he'll be worrying. I need to let him know what has happened but I am unable to call him. They have removed my t-shirt from my body with scissors and it lies at the end of my trolley but I have no idea where my coat which holds my phone is.

"Tyler" I call out to the paramedic, removing my oxygen mask so that my words are not muffled.

"Troye, I need you to stay still"

"I need Tyler- he'll be worrying. I don't want him to worry" I reply, ignoring his instructions as I try to sit up. A searing pain shoots through me with my movement and the paramedic gently helps to lower me back down on the trolley.

"Troye I really need you to stay still, we've managed to control most of the bleeding for now but if you move that could change again"

"I need to call Tyler" I say, starting to panic as the paramedic continues to ignore my request. His fingers cross my face as he repositions my oxygen mask back over my mouth and I begin to take in greedy and frenzied gulps.

"Troye I need you to calm your breathing down, we don't want your blood flow to quicken" the paramedic tells me before demonstrating how I should be breathing. I close my eyes ignoring his demonstration- I don't need him to show me how to breathe, I need him to call Tyler.

"Tyler. Please" I gasp between pants, my eyes open again, giving him a desperate look.

"Tyler will receive a phone call when we arrive at the hospital. Your body is still in shock Troye so I need you to really try and focus on your breathing with me. Nice slow and gentle breathes" he says in an attempt to calm me before fiddling with the medical equipment that is monitoring my heart rate and oxygen intake.

 I close my eyes again, trying to picture being back at Zoe's apartment and I lie to myself in an attempt to block out the intense pain and panic that is trying to control my body. I tell myself that I am in the bath surrounded by the silky, hot water and Tyler's strong legs. My cheek is rested on his flat chest allowing myself to breathe in his clean scent. I can feel his hand trail my neck and shoulder, rubbing my muscle gently. His other hand is placed on top of mine as I rest a glass of wine on the edge of the bath tub. The bath bomb fizzes around our bodies, the bubbles causing my skin to burn with pain- I jolt my eyes open as my injury demands to be felt. No, I tell myself as I take a deep breath and rediscover my distracting daydream. The bath bomb fizzes around our bodies, the bubbles causing my skin to tingle. Tyler presses a kiss into my damp hair and the bath begins to flood with blood... I suddenly scream out as the ambulance takes a turn too sharply and my body rocks, the crimson flow from my torso increasing with the movement. The paramedic's hands begin to work my torso again as he mutters apologies when his fingers cause further pain. The throbbing takes me further away from my daydream and I know I will not be able to find it again so instead I clench my teeth refusing to vocalise my agony.

We arrive at the hospital and I am immediately bundled out of the ambulance and into the Accident and Emergency department.  Still prohibited from moving myself, the paramedics lift me from the hard trolley onto a softer portable bed before leaving me to be seen to by numerous nurses and doctors. I repeatedly ask for someone to call Tyler but everyone is more focused on inspecting my wound and asking me the same questions repeatedly. I quickly tire from explaining that I cannot remember the accident, that it all happened so fast and that everything is blurry. I grow more frustrated as I explain my pain on a scale of one to ten and when the doctor leaves my curtained bed area, I struggle to hold back silent tears. The pain killers I have been given are doing little to help and I long for Tyler to be here. He will be incredibly worried and the idea pains me. In addition to wanting to placate his worries, I too want his comfort. His fingers brushing my hair and holding my hand would be the best medicine right now- at least for the tears that stream my cheeks.