Puddles

7 Signs

A/N~i know its been a long time, but writers block. anyways, this one is purely just a joke, I'm sure that all of you will know that without me having to say anything, but just in case, i thought i should clarify that. tell me what you think of this one!

There are a lot of signs for a lot of different things. For example, you see those advertisements that tell you the seven biggest signs of a heart attack. Or you see the "Seven fruits you should never eat and heres why!"

Now, no doubt some of those advertisements have the potential of being real, but for the most part, those fruits are not going to give you hypertension. However, there are seven signs of things that you should watch out for and pay attention to, because they are very important. Like for example, there could be seven signs of an abusive friendship, or seven signs of dehydration. 

Personally, for all of you struggling with hygiene issues, I would recommend looking at my seven signs it's time to take a shower, and after, a list of the benefits of showering. 

1~Your hair has gotten so far past the point of oily that it feels dry.

2~Your hair has stopped smelling like anything at all, it smells stale.

3~No amount of deodorant and perfume can cover up the awkward stench of body odor.

4~The bottoms of your feet are so covered in dirt that they are black, which is extremely telling when you're pale skinned.

5~The pits of your shirts are crusted over with old sweat (I've seen it happen, it isn't pretty at all).

6~People would rather burn their nose hairs that have to smell your odors. 

7~Strangers and friends would rather not be near you because they don't want to smell your...atrocious odors.

Now, what are the benefits of taking a shower, you may ask?

1~They tend to relieve stress.

2~Cold showers can improve circulation.

3~Cold showers can also strengthen your immune response.

4~They increase energy.

5~You feel refreshed.

6~They can aid in preventing infections.

7~They soothe aches in joints, muscles, and headaches.

There really should not be a question of if you should take a shower. Of course you should. We all should. So, next time you're contemplating taking a shower, think of this list. Everyone will thank you for doing so.

A/N~Again, this is purely comedy. This project is meant to test different styles of writing, and honestly, it was a good way to ease myself back into writing one shots/short stories. This one is actually shorter than 1000 words, like, way shorter, but I mean, I don't think I can really stretch this one to even 1000 words. I'll write another tomorrow! Don't forget to comment what you think!