How am I so into you? (RICCI RIVERO)

Chapter I: What? Sports?

I still wonder how I got through all things for years now. Funny how I can laugh at things I then regret while sipping coffee by the window watching cars go by, not minding how yellow my teeth can be from drinking it, and an entire playlist of Sitti playing in this café over and over again.

College, my unending thing for reading and writing that has got me my current career, my family-especially Danelle. I obviously can't afford another headache.

Danelle was born when I was 15. I thought having to finance her and being her '2nd mother'  were all jokes from our aunties. Yet acutally, she's in 1st grade now, with her We Bare Bears backpack I bought her this year and a box of strawberry soy milk I packed her this morning.

It isn't easy. And it will never be.

Perhaps, that's too much wonders Zaunea Rodriguez, the black mirror is haunting you now.

I flipped my laptop open and checked my emails. Kailangan ready ako for whatever and whenever I'm needed for the company I work for. Lalo na't intern palang ako and hopefully, eventually, they hire me permanently. Or else I won't be able to save up for my Maldives trip I've been wishing since I've known Maldives.

I've always hoped they need me every time  I click the refresh button for my inbox. Gan'to siguro talaga kapag gusto mo yung ginagawa mo 'no? Kahit alam mong it will consume you, you'll be offering yourself to it.

There it came, an email from the Diem Mirror, that's where I work as an intern. By far, I've seen how much I've grown as a journalist, big time.

In high school, contests lang and a 24 page newsletter. Utak at bolpen lang lalo na at feature writer ako noon. I seldom need facts but always needed pounds of ideas and other metaphors I can make up according to the situation, Ansel Elgort lang sa TFIOS.

Ngayon, it includes my body, more of my charisma or kapal ng mukha, deadlines by 12:59 am, and sometimes a microphone. Dun ako nanibago, I am more of a writer than a speaker. I could offer more when I'm writing than when I'm talking. I'll always be the talkative friend but it's far different when it comes to public speaking. Dapat plakadong plakado, walang labis at lalong wala dapat kulang.

Although I'm still thankful how I can express myself with writing pero somehow I still wish I was as my grandmother. She was a public school Journalism teacher. Public school, bigatin talaga sila sa Journalism. They were always taking over every press conference or contest I've joined with the fact that they already have Journalism in their curriculum since their elementary. Eh ako, I had a thing for writing since elementary but I only had the chance to know Journalism when I was in my last junior year. Siguro sa sampung mananalo, 8 dun galling public. 2 lang sa private. My grandma bags medals for almost every category, English man o Filipino. Even for nationals. Several times, they go to Dumaguete, Butuan, Cebu and etc. for it. Ako, tambay lang sa Metro Manila. Hanggang regionals lang.

She was also a speaker. She loved talking, but I didn't enjoy listening to her before. Then I ended up doing the same thing  she said I should be doing in life as she lectures, me mainly since I'm the eldest, during family gatherings. It's by chance and by my choice anyway.

The headings made my undone brows meet and fold my forehead in three skins. It's from the sports department. I barely do something for the sports department. Probably because I added sports as one of my weaknesses when I was applying.

It's not that I hate sports. I play volleyball and badminton actually. Sa kalye nga lang. Twice lang ata ako naglaro sa official volleyball game nung high school. I know volleyball well enough if I had to cover a game, and a little from basketball since I've dated basketball players before. Alam mo na, typical na cheering, pag-intindi at respeto sa basketball as their sport. Turns out they're not just into playing basketball alone...

Ewan ko ha, pero I've only officially dated two men in my life, the rest is just ka-something , you know what I mean #teenageregrets, and both of them are basketball players. And they did almost the same thing. Left with my mouth open and only fed with only my answers alone. Bakit kaya ganun no? Siguro tangina lang talaga natin. Wag na natin isisi sa kanila.

Kahit pa ganun, I find no reason to do the same thing to someone in the future. But if someone does that again to me, for the third time? Okay lang, minsan lang maging tanga bakit hindi pa dito?   

Reality hit me hard when I read it was for a basketball game. 'Pag inaaway ka nga naman talaga ng mundo oh.

And on second note, I won't be writing, someone else will be and I'll do the talking. This won't be my first time pero yung mga iniinterview ko naman calm ang crowd, mostly politically involved but what's this Lord?

I'm trying to fool myself na this is just a challenge that this will be a good opportunity for my improvement but hello? A basketball game? Me, talking? Live? At Araneta? With La Salle and Sto. Thomas? With an ant army- like fans? This must be a huge joke. They must have emailed the wrong message to me.

I called my boss, he's not actually the boss but he's a permanent employee and has been helping me out constantly.

Ringing....

"Hello? Good Morning Zaunea"  bati nya sakin.

"Good morning Sir Paco! May concern lang  po sana ako sa assignment ko Sir.." panimula ko. Syempre inintrohan ko muna baka mamaya mamisinterpret nya pa na I'm complaining.

"Bakit? Ano yun?"  pagtataka nya. This is honestly the first time na magtanong ako about my assignment. I only get back to him after fulfilling them. Momma raised no quitter.

"Sir, I just received my assignment and parang hindi po ito sa akin. Wrong send po ata kasi it's from the spo--" hindi ko na natapos.

" Ahh.. hindi Zaunea. Yung sa UAAP? Hindi. I viewed yourfiles again kasi and nakita ko na weakness mo yan. Para sa'yo talaga yan. Kaya mo yan, ikaw pa." sabi ni Sir Paco na parang kampanteng kampante.

⚠️ Votes and comments would greatly help me 💞

Thoughts? Tweet using #SoIntoRR