How am I so into you? (RICCI RIVERO)

Chapter XLIX: Everyone knows

R I C C I

I went to her notwithstanding the time. Ang tanga tanga ko. She might get in trouble because of me. How can my decision making get any worse?

Zaun's soft hearted, I can see that with all her sacrifices for her family. Kaya naman nakonsensya siguro sya sa sinabi ko. Pero totoo, kailangan ko sya sa mga oras na 'to.

Everything seems wrong. Whatever decision I make will make me lose something. I can't just flow with it or I'll be too late.

Tangina, ano bang gagawin ko?

I told Zaun to meet me at their park so I waited. The wind air felt so much more cold than usual, it was quiet but deafening.

She came and I was just trying to tell her to somehow get it off my chest.

But it didn't end like how I wanted it to be..

I was starting to get annoyed because she started yelling. It's not easy to just spill out how your life is crashing in a few sentences.

"Girlfriend mo ba 'ko? Kasi ngayon parang hindi eh. Ni hindi mo nga ako iniinvolve sa nangyayari sa'yo. Pero sige, wag na nga. Wag mo na kong iinvolve, kahit pagkwento hindi mo magawa. " she yelled with wet cheeks.

She's right, I should've told her but I was a coward. I was taking her away from my pace. I just wanted to protect her, is that so wrong?

I couldn't tell her thinking I've got it all under control because I know damn well I do, and that we're not doing anything wrong, who would be against that? Against love?

She ran away and my heart beat every step she gets away knowing that I couldn't follow her.

I wanted to but I didn't know what to say. If I do, what am I supposed to say? I'm sorry? I'm sorry I was so selfish while thinking about your sake?

Instead of protecting her, I was the one who hurt her.

**ring ring**

I answered the call from my wet phone screen.

"'Nak? Where are you? You're not with Kuya daw?"

I tried to hold in my shaking gasps so she couldn't hear it.

"Mom.." I lost it. "Mommy, I'm sorry.." I said in between shaky breaths.

"Anak.."

"Mommy, I'm going home. I miss you. Uuwi na po ako.."tuloy parin ang pagiyak ko.

"Anak, Lord is with you. Remember that. We'll wait for you, I love you anak. "

"Yes Mommy, I love you too. I'll be home"

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Gusto ko sana munang mabaling yung atensyon ko sa iba para kahit sa dalawa o tatlong oras na byahe mapahinga ko yung mga mata ko kaya naisip ko munang magbasa sana ng matiwasay. Kaso hindi ganun ang nangyari.