This Is Where I Leave You

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Just a heads up; this is gonna be sad. Real sad. I was watching How I Met Your Mother and a particular scene sparked this and I used the monologue from that scene. If you watch the show you'll know which scene. This is set after El closes the gate. It's an AU. Also I'm so sorry about all the sad content lately, I dunno what's up with that lmao.
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Sobs.

They echoed throughout the house as Mike kneeled beside the couch, folding in on himself as he broke, heartbreak and agony filling every corner of him, his mind screaming no no no no
as everyone else began to break down. He was vaguely aware of someone holding him, but all he could focus on was the fact that El's hand in his was cold. So cold.

He felt like his heart had been ripped to shreds, stamped on and left in the dirt.

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If there was one word Mike Wheeler never used to describe himself, it was happy.

Sure, he was grateful. He had the best family and friends, his dream job and a nice house in Chicago. But every morning he would wake up, the feeling of missing her, needing her, set deep in his bones.

It had been almost 30 years since she left them, and a part of him died with her. He'd never get it back.

As he grew up, he watched the people he loved grow too.

He watched as Will finally came out to everyone, and met the love of his life in a bar when they were 22. They had two daughters now.

He watched as Max and Lucas conquered high school, and lasted. He watched as they married. Flourished in their jobs. Had three beautiful kids.

He watched as Dustin met a woman who was just as goofy and hilarious as him. He watched as they fell in love. He watched their daughter grow.

He watched as Nancy and Jonathan lasted. He watched as they married. They both succeeded. He watched as Jonathan placed his niece in his arms for the first time. And his two nephews after that.

He watched as people grew. As they flourished. He just stayed still.

Without her, what was the point?

But at age 40, everything changed.

He met someone. And he felt guilty. So guilty. Because this wasn't how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to love El, marry El, grow old with El. She had sacrificed everything for them, given her life for them, and here he was, defying her and falling in love with someone else.

But he couldn't help it. He found himself falling in love again, for the first time since he was fourteen. It was simultaneously the most exhilarating and terrifying thing he'd ever experienced.

But he loved Isabella. He loved waking up next to her in the mornings. He loved her weird obsession with pickles. He loved being step-dad to her daughters.

And as much as he wanted to fight it, as much as his mind was screaming no, it's El or nobody, he wanted to marry Isabella.

And he had to realise that nothing would ever stop him from loving El. But his love for El didn't mean he couldn't love another.

He stood inside their house. He could feel the ring box inside his pocket. He was really doing this. Yes, she wasn't El, but he loved her. He wasn't going to fight it.

He found himself remembering. He needed to talk to her. He needed to say goodbye.

He exited the front door and stood on the porch, the distant sounds of his future wife and daughters laughing inside. He took a deep breath, clutching one of the porch poles, tears already streaming down his face.

"Hi, El."

He was practically sobbing now.

"It's me. Sorry to interrupt. I know you're probably up there watching soaps with Hopper. Um, look, I've got a situation here."

He glanced back at the house and then back at the sky.

"I think that I've been holding myself back from falling in love again, and I think it's because I can't let you go. But you're not here anymore! So, I have to ask this... would it be okay if I moved on?... I realise you have no way of answering that-"

He was interrupted by a soft gust of wind that tousled his black mop of hair, now scattered with grey hairs. It was warm, and it felt distinctly like what it felt to hold her.

"Oh, okay! I'll take that as a yes. In that case, I should get back in there."

He could feel the ghost of how he felt when she left all those years ago. He was shaking with sobs now and he took a deep breath to steady himself. He looked back at the sky one more time, the moonlight glinting off his tear tracks.

"I guess this is it. For real this time."

"Bye, El."

Here's a link to the scene I based it off if you want a point of reference:
https://youtu.be/pAX00-n0pAc

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