Finding Myself

First Day

I didn't get much sleep last night... scratch that. I haven't gotten much sleep in the last couple weeks. When something like that happens there is no physical way that you can just move on, and trust me, I have been trying. I miss the way I used to make stupid little jokes and smile about them for hours... if things were the same then I would be the same too. Nothing would have changed for the better or the worse. I would be the same girl I used to be with no friends and a loving family. Now all of that is gone...

My brain thinks of thousands of different ways that day could have gone. Something's I could have done to help prevent the accident. But, no matter what I think of, I know everything would have ended the same way.

"I need to get up." I tell myself to help get out of the bed. I crawl out of the covers and to the bathroom to shower and hopefully clear my mind a little. A tragic thing happened, I need to move on. I need to burry this and move on.

After I am changed and ready for the day I grab a paper out my sketching notebook and write a note for Mindy and Tom.

Need some fresh air. Be back soon. Text me if you need me.

~ T

I grab my phone off the nightstand and walk down the stairs then out the door. I'm used to it being a little cold in the morning but surprisingly here it is warm and humid, even in the morning. I take off my sweater, so I am just wearing my tank and shorts, then tie it around my waist. I decide to take a walk over to where Owen was walking after the bus dropped him off. It's six in the morning so I don't expect to see anyone out and about yet, but surprisingly, I see two guys sitting on their porch with notebooks and textbooks in hand. As I walk closer to the house I see it's Owen with his nose in a book.

"This makes no sense!" He yells to the person sitting across from him and slams the book closed rubbing his face.

"You need to focus on how to remember it, not on if making sense." The guy remarks laughing. I walk closer to the house until I am in front of their house.

"Early morning study session?" I ask and they both look at me. Owens face lightens up and he walks over to me.

"Hey Tori girl." He says hugging me. I get taken back at how awake he is... I mean, normally I am the only one for miles who is awake at this early.

"What are you guys studying?" I ask looking at him then to the guy on the porch who is looking down at us.

"Maybe you can understand this." Owen says pulling my arm toward the porch then stops when  I'm in front of the other guy.

"Hello." I say to him and he smiles up at me.

"Sup." His hazel eyes shine as they look at me. He smiles, showing his white pearly teeth, as he fixes his brown hair.

"Oh...Sam this is Tori." Owen says not looking up from his book.

"Nice to meet you." I say awkwardly then look at Owen. "So why are you studying at six in the morning?"

"Exams are in a few hours." Sam says and I nod. I can feel his eyes on me and I start to feel uncomfortable from his stare.

"What class?"

"The fun and exciting..." Sam drum rolls on his book, making me laugh at him. "Mathematics."

"Does this make sense to you?" Owen asks shoving the book toward me with a bunch of problems.

"What one?" I ask looking down at the problems. He points to one then plops the pencil on the book. I pick it up and sit on the floor next to him.

"I just don't understand. I pay attention everyday and do the homework, but yet I feel like I have never seen it before. The letters and numbers just don't belong in..."