Finding Myself

The First Drive-In

Victoria's Point Of View

I listen to radio as it pounds through the speaker, the door vibrating as the sound escapes from them. Doors glide open then slam closed while murmuring can be heard around me.

"Tori!" Someone yells right next to me. I turn my head to Sam as he stares at me through his door. He looks at me in concern. I spin around to look through the back window and see the other guys rolling the top off the trunk to reveal blankets and pillows. I look up and see we are parked with the back facing the movie screen. "Are you okay?"

"Yah. I'm great." I say slipping on my sweatshirt then get out of the car.

"Are you okay?" Owen asks as I walk over.

"Yah. I'm just tired." I lie with a dashing smile. They nod and smile as a sudden rush of anxiety hits me at a thousand miles an hour. I do a spin of the place then find the snack bar and bathrooms.  "I'm going to go to the bathroom."

"Okay." Mason says as I start to walk away. I pull on my thin sleeves to cover my hands in force of habit. I walk faster and don't stop until I am in my own private stall. The sudden feeling of wanting to cry fills me, but at the same time.. I want to scream out. This is the life with anxiety. One moment you think it's just sadness, then the next you are about to break down in a drive-in movie theater bathroom. The walls close in on me, forcing me to leave the bathroom stall and freak out in the wide open. I look at myself in the mirror as the tears fall down my cheeks. I can't do this.

The door swings open and a group of girls walk in. I quick grab some water and splash it on my face. They go quiet as I look down at the sink while trying to figure out how to breath. I dry my face then leave the bathroom When back in the fresh air, I find a bench in the shadow and sit down to try and calm down before dealing with people.

I've been sitting down for a while and it is getting darker now, so the movies will start soon. I decide to approach society for a little bit. When I finally get close to being at the truck, I notice them all looking around until Sam's eyes land on me.

"There she is." He says hoping down from the back of the truck and walks over to me.

"Sorry, I got..." He hugs me before I can finish my sentence. I awkwardly stand there and look at Owen and Mason in confusion but they just look at us. "Uhm...Sam?"

"She told me she saw you crying..." He says pulling way and looking at my face.

"Who?" I ask confused.

"My moms friend. She saw you come in with us then saw you crying.Then she told us and we couldn't find you." He says in a serious tone with a hint of worry. I look at the guys and they just watch again. I focus back on Sam.

"I was only gone for a little..."

"You were gone for an hour." He says looking at me like I just said I was secretly a man. I nod my head in understanding. Sometimes when you get deep into thoughts time flies past you.

"Sorry." I say putting my arms in front of my body. He hugs me again but I just stand there.

"Why were you...?" He tries to ask but I walk around.

"So, what movies playing?" I ask them as I get into the back. They put four thick blankets on the bottom of the truck then put some pillows on the sides to make it more comfortable. A little radio sits in the middle by their feet. I plop myself down next to Owen as Sam comes in and sits next to me.

"There is, of course, Moana first then Fast and Furious eight." Owen says and I smile.

"Good movies." I say and he nods. Sam nudges my arm and I look at him.