ShadAmy- Foresight

Chapter 19- Sick

Shadow's POV-

I opened the door to the bedroom slowly, thinking that maybe Amy was asleep. The room was dark, but there was enough light for me to see. Roza was laying in bed, but I could tell she wasn't sleeping. I tugged my shirt off and threw it in the basket of laundry as I approached. I sat on the other side of the bed and stared at her back, and the steady rhythm of her chest rising and falling with her breathing. Even though she was covered with the blanket, it failed to cover the curves she had.

I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair in frustration. I wish she wouldn't do this to me. But I don't want her to go to sleep mad at me, or with me mad at her.

"I love you, Roza," I whispered. Though I know it was loud enough for her to hear, she didn't answer. Which kind of hurt, but people say things they dont mean when they are angry. And I guess in this case, don't say things they do mean.

I sighed again and pulled the covers over my legs and about halfway up my chest and layed back with a hand behind my neck, staring up at the ceiling. I listened to Roza's slow and steady breathing for a long time.

Just when I closed my eyes and was about to fall asleep, I heard a small voice say, "I love you too, Shadow."

I opened my eyes and turned to Amy, who was sitting up with her knees pulled up to her chest. I didn't know she moved. "And I'm sorry, about how I treated you today. I know you were only trying to help." 

"Would you mind me asking what's wrong again, then?" I asked as I pushed myself up on my elbows.

She sighed and shook her head. "I still have a hard time letting people in sometimes, Shadow," she whispered. "I- I don't even know how to describe what's wrong. It makes sense in my head but when try to put it to words, I just-" she layed her forehead on her knees before continuing, "I just can't."

"I understand, Roza," I replied softly, rubbing her back to comfort her.

Roza pulled her head up and smiled at me in disbelief. "Do you? 'capture the heart that beats so viciously in this chest?'" she quoted me. "I'd hardly say that's having any trouble with words."

"Amy, why do you keep comparing yourself to me? First when you say you can't always be strong like me? What is that about by the way? And now this?"

She shook her head and asked, "How do you stay calm all of the time? Every time a chaotic situation goes down, you're so chill. You don't panic. You perfectly think and act logically."

I chuckled at the irony of it, and she frowned angrily at me like, 'what the fuck?' I turned my body to face her and sat with my legs crossed and I said to her, "Because I'm disconnected to everything half the time, Rose. I don't feel," I paused and shrugged, "feelings. Unless I'm with you," I said quietly, taking her hand in mine. A lump formed in my throat and I added, "I haven't even cried since Maria died, and that was the only time I've cried. Ever."

Amy layed a hand flat against my bare chest, feeling my heartbeat, which picked up pace when her skin touched mine. She leaned in slowly and brushed her lips against mine. "I'm sorry," she murmured against my mouth. "I'm sorry for bringing up bad memories, I'm sorry for making you worry, I'm sorry for-"

I kissed her to shut her up. When I pulled away I told her, "Quit apologizing, Roza. I just wanna know what's been bothering you lately."

She sighed. "One more thing, then," she admitted. "Does it- Do my nightmares bother you?"

I frowned in confusion. "You haven't been having nightmares, because I've been around," I said carefully. At least, I hope she hasn't been. I don't wanna think of what would happen if she has.