For Your Eyes Only

Chapter 7: Triggers

Kenya takes a beat before answering Rob. "You don't have to tell me, if you're not ready". "It's OK. I'll tell you." She starts again with how she met Andre outside of the college campus. He wasn't a student, but he was visiting an old childhood friend who was the resident assistant of the male dormitory. He spots her walking by and asks if they wanted some coffee sometime. Kenya initially thought Andre was pulling a prank on her, wondering why anyone would ask her out if they had no motive. He tells her he just wants to get to know her better. She agrees to the date and they start hanging out more.

Before they know it, they were starting to travel together and meet each other's families. Kenya's siblings even wanted to put together a wedding and invite their closest friends to attend. Kenya would be showered with gifts, love and affection, making her fall deeper in love with Andre. For the first time in her life, Kenya felt like someone loved her for being her. She wasn't seen as being pretty for a dark skin girl, but seen as someone worthy of receiving love unconditionally.

Granted Andre was a popular guy, especially with women, but remained faithful to Kenya, until one day he felt like they weren't going to move forward the way they hoped. While Kenya stayed to work at the MinneMetro, Andre was doing more traveling. Many of his trips were going further out east and west and they getting more frequent. Kenya confronts Andre over these trips and he insists there is nothing going on except for business. One day, a woman left a message on their phone, saying she had a great time with him and hoped to see him again. Kenya explodes by storming into a business meeting he was in and asked him if he's having an affair. Andre leaves the meeting and says sorry. Kenya, composed and fighting back tears, quietly walks out.

At the end of the day, Kenya had packed up her things and moved back home. She wanted to be as far from Andre as possible, even if it meant staying with her parents for a while. However, it was not as easy to deal with as she thought. Kenya's parents were against her moving in with Andre and insisted on them living close by, in case they got sick or too old so they can move in with them being caretakers. Kenya leaves, stating she is through living for other's expectations and that Andre was the only one that didn't make her feel like she should perform to be loved. Every now and then her parents would bring up Andre, knowing it was more of 'I-told-you-so' rather than if she was OK and to add injury to insult, Kenya's younger sister, Kendra was allowed to have a boyfriend, even though she was a senior in high school .

Things like dating, going to dances outside of school and staying past curfew on weekends were only a few things Kenya would have gotten in trouble for or scolded by her parents, claiming she was setting a bad example for her little sister. Kendra even had the audacity to try and set her up with one of her boyfriend's college friends! Completely fed up with the unfairness, Kenya decides to move back to Minneapolis to handle the aftermath of Andre by herself. She was adjusting to the break up fine until Andre announces he is engaged to be married to another woman just months after they split. The woman he was engaged to was the woman who left the message for Andre months ago.

Kenya remembers breaking down in a fit, shouting at the top of her lungs and crying in the middle of a shopping mall fitting room. About 20 minutes later, Jordana finds Kenya curled into a ball and helps her into her car to the hospital.

Jordana tells her about going to see Dr.Harper to tell him about what she's been through. Kenya rejects at first, but eventually starts attending and sharing her story.

"To this day, I still don't know why he did it". "That's horrible. Have you seen him since then?". " I saw him a few weeks ago when I when out for a walk and he had invited me to some event they're having later. I don't want to go and be humiliated". Kenya starts to cry. "What did I do to deserve any of this?" Tears run down her face and Rob slowly wipes them from her face. "Kenya, you've done nothing wrong. He's the one who messed up because he didn't deserve a wonderful, special and caring woman like you". Kenya hugs him while still crying. "It's alright, it's not you. I promise". Rob looks at the clock and sees it is now Saturday and continues to hold Kenya in his arms. They fall asleep moments later.

Hours later, Rob and Kenya are still asleep on her sofa. She stirs a little and starts to open her eyes. "Good morning, honey". "Good morning..." Rob mutters in his sleep. Kenya's eyes open immediately. "Wha-? Oh my-! Rob, wake up!" Rob is now fully awake. "What's wrong?" . "What happened last night? I-I don't remember anything after we left the restaurant...Oh god, did we...?!". "No, no. We didn't do anything! You would have known or at least felt something" he explains. Kenya calms back down. "Oh...what did we do?".

 Rob tells her they have spent the night talking and she told him how and where she grew up, along with meeting Jordana. He also mentions her talking about Andre and how she was trying to cope with their break-up. Kenya starts remembering what all has happened and starts feeling sad again. "I'm so embarrassed. I didn't think I would get so caught up in him like that". "Do you still love him?" Rob asks. Kenya pauses. "Yes". Rob gets stunned. "I still love him, because he was my first love, but I'm not in love with him...at least not anymore". "Oh, that makes sense. I thought I may have to duck under a bridge if he sees me". Kenya laughs. "There's that pretty smile I've wanting to see". "I had a great time, Rob. I should make it up to you sometime".  "Now that you mention it, my birthday is a couple of weeks away...maybe you can come over..." he teases. "Hold on, I can't give you that!". "You mean you can't give me a new speaker for my guitar?" . "Speaker?" . "Yeah, what did you think I was going to say?". "Nevermind..." she stands up and stumbles a bit.

"I think I should go and let you get some more rest" he says, standing and stretching. "OK, I'll see you later" Kenya walks him to the door and Rob goes back to his apartment. He closes the door and groans. "Why didn't I just kiss her? At least she doesn't want the other guy anymore". Rob goes to get some ice for his head. He starts crushing the cubes to smaller pieces and puts it in his mouth instead, making him more relaxed.

Kenya gets cleaned up and changes into some other clothes. She grabs her journal to write, when the phone rings. "Hello?". "Morning, Kenya!" Jordana says. "Dana! That is really loud. It's still early on this side". "Kenya, what did you do last night? You sound hungover". Kenya tells her about going out to celebrate her birthday at the Japanese restaurant. "The weekend I go out of town, you get wild and crazy". "It's not like that, we had a great time". "We? Who took you out, Mr. Secret Admirer?" Jordana teases. "You can say that...".  Kenya tells her how he dropped her off after she was too out of it to know what was happening, then they talked for the rest of the night. "Hmm, he sounds like a good guy, he could teach some of these knuckleheads how to act. What does he look like? Is he cute?"

 Kenya thinks to describe him that doesn't give away Rob's identity. "Yes, he is. He has such smooth skin and piercing eyes". "Oh, come on Kenya, you can do better than that!" Jordana groans. "Sorry, but he didn't want anyone to know his identity".  "This admirer is taking 'secret' to a new level, like he's with the Secret Service or something. Why does he sound like your new neighbor that you don't get to see?". Before Kenya answers, she grabs a bar of chocolate from her pantry and eats a piece. "You just took some chocolate from your pantry, didn't you?". "No...?" .  "Kenya Rose Frasier, you slept with this guy!". "No, I didn't. The bar would have been gone by now". The two joke around while Jordana talks about her interview with Mya, saying she's going to be around for a while and the next big star. She also tells her she should be back tomorrow to talk some more, since she's calling long distance. They say goodbye and hang up, while Kenya goes back to her journal.

May 24th 1997

I can't remember the last time I had so much fun on my birthday. Rob took me to this lovely Japanese restaurant with such beautiful colors and we had a wonderful time, with what I can recall. I have to remember not to order sake as a beverage, because I started feeling strange. I do remember parts of what happened after we left. Rob kind of angry after we got back. He said he found the page, calling him an asshole. I was upset that day, I didn't mean it. Then he said he knew nothing about me, except of what he heard. I guess it was only fair to tell him about me.

I think that's what made it so much fun. We just talked the whole night, no expectations of anything. He's so sweet and patient, if I could only cuddle with him a little longer... He understood me and what I've been through and even if I was mad at him, I can still trust him and feel safe and...loved. Plus, he's got a cute butt...Ok, let me stop. 

Anyway, I think we can be good together, but I'm not sure how much slower we can go.

Kenya closes the book and heads outside for some time.