bitter lies » hunlay [COMPLETED SEQUEL]

thirty eight

sehun;

"what are you doing?" i asked yixing, who was staring outside the window while it was raining.

"thinking." he sighed.

"about what?"

"about you..." he said, still wondering without even glancing at me. "are you even aware, sehun?" i leaned against the wall, listening to what he said. he glanced at me with teary eyes.

"im fine, yixing. what are you talking about?" i sighed.

"no, you don't understand!" yixing gritted his teeth.

"what part do i not understand?" i slowly sat behind him, trying to figure what was happening that yixing suddenly cried.

"sehun..." he looked down. "you're not okay. if it's hurting just tell me..." yixing glanced at my chest. "why don't you want to tell me?"

"i don't want to bother you..." i sighed. "it's fine, it's not that serious-"

"sehun!" yixing cut me off. "don't act like everything's fine when you're not...why do you always act like you're not in pain infront of me but always in pain behind my back?-"

"stop it." i said. "im fine." i clenched my fist. "i told you, im fine." i glared.

"but you're not-" i shut him up by kissing his pouty lips, as i tasted the saltiness of his tears...he kissed me back longingly and cried even harder. i could feel the desperation of him kissing me while i let him.

"yixing..." i grabbed his hand. "i know you're worried about me but it's okay as long as im with you...you hear me baby?"

"no..."

"trust me, yixing."

after that, yixing looked pale as a ghost...he didn't want to eat neither did he want to stop worrying about me. i found him resting his head on the dining table, sleeping with his unfinished coffee on the table beside him. i told him to get things off his mind and just think positive but he just got a headache after listening to me.

i started to feel very uneasy about yixing. he was overthinking too much that it made him feel restless. "baby." i muttered. "please stop..." i sighed.

yixing wasn't responding, he just stayed silent as i felt his forehead. it was too hot. "yixing you need to stop please." i said seriously and lifted him up to get him to bed. he groaned and immediately sat up when i put him in bed.

"im going somewhere." yixing said and grabbed his car keys.

"no...not when you're this stressed." i said.

"please im going to relieve my mind out there, sehun." yixing pleaded. "i need to get things off my mind."

"im not letting you go alone, im coming with you-"

"stop, im going by myself." yixing said. "i want to be alone." he stared at me into my eyes but i feel like something was wrong. without me saying anything back, yixing brushed past my arm to go to outside.

-

yixing;

i went to the hospital where sehun was hospitalized before. i accelerated the car because of frustration and desperation all at once. i couldn't believe i was doing this for sehun. i thought about it a million times before...i would do everything for sehun and i can't undo that ever.

i was crying on the way to the hospital while listening to this one song which was related to mine and sehun's relationship. so sad, so sad that i started reminiscing the past and how we would look like in the future...broken.

you're doing this for sehun, i thought. you're sacrificing yourself for the love of your life. even after all the things you've been through...

i took a deep breath before heading off to sehun's doctor's office to meet him with my eyes bloodshot red.

"well hello there, yixing. it's nice to meet you again." he flashed me a smile. "please take a seat."

"what brought you here?" he asked while i couldn't say anything because i was so nervous. he knew i was struggling so he handed me a tissue.

"i-its about sehun...how much time does he have left?"

"not long enough." doctor sighed, looking really sad. "didn't sehun tell you about it?"

"about what?" i widened my eyes.

"about his life line...he knows that he's dying. i told him before i told you."

"he knows?!"

"i guess he didn't tell you...and you didn't tell him too." doctor clasped his hands nervously. "i don't know how to say about this."

"but it's never too late to say this...right?" my hands were shaking.

"what is that, yixing?"

"i don't want sehun to die. im saying that someone should volunteer donating their heart to sehun."

"it's not easy to get a person to donate their heart."

"i know..." i looked down. "that's what im saying. i don't want to take advantage of any people..."

"i'd do anything for sehun to live. i volunteer to donate my heart to oh sehun."  i continued.

"are you sure?" he asked. "are you willing to do this?"

"yes, im sure. as long as sehun lives then im happy."

the doctor wrote something down on his note. he gave me a small piece of paper. the date when i will get my heart removed.

"you have to get ready before this date. that's when we will do it to you...and that's when sehun will start to feel unconscious. im sorry about this, yixing...i truly am."

"i will do anything...to make sehun live."

"you're a brave person, zhang yixing. i respect you. the hospital crew respects you." the doctor bowed to me. "and may god bless you and sehun's relationship."

i gave him a small weak smile.

-

"hey babe." sehun greeted me once i got into the house.

"hey." i smiled.

"i made you some cookies while you were away." sehun said.

"thank you..."

"did you meet someone, yixing?" sehun asked.

"no." i said.

"okay...enjoy the cookies." sehun smiled. "i had to do my research for this. i worked really hard!"

"that's good, sehun. im proud of you." i smiled. there was a long silence between us.

"why are you not saying anything? you're usually talkative." sehun said.

"i don't know..."

"talk to me. you can rant about your problems to me. i am your husband." sehun grasped my thigh. "i want to make sure you feel okay."

"i don't have any problems sehun." i lied. "just...i just want to feel your love."

sehun hugged me comfortably as i rested my head on his shoulder. "do you feel it? don't you feel it everyday?"

"it's not enough..." i grasped his shirt and the tears dripped down on his shoulder. "i want to stay like this...forever," he heard me sobbing so he pulled close and tight. "and be with you."

"only you, sehun...nobody else in this world."