The Pack

Leah's Words

I shuffled the leaves beneath my feet as I started on my long walk to nowhere. I felt a dull ache in the pit of my stomach that was caused by my imprint and the other ache in my chest was for a woman that didn't deserve it. How many times could I look Leah in the eyes and tell her I wanted her? How many times could I allow her to reject me?

It's for you own good.

You'll thank me in the long run.

Those two damned sentences came out of her mouth every time we came in contact lately. I hated that she didn't trust me. I knew within myself that I had the power to break the hold of my imprint or at the very least transform the bond into something new. I knew that Renesmee was a very smart and special girl but even as she grew I knew that I'd already met the woman that had my heart. She would never be able to compare to the spell that I was already under. I shoved my hands in my pockets as I strolled along. My thoughts wrapped around the woman determined to get away. I looked up to the autumn sky as the wind blew and the dry auburn leaves floated down to the Earth. I wondered why the heavens had handed me this fate. I'd been in love twice only to be rejected twofold.

This is just lust Jacob. That's all this is.

Don't look at me that way Jake, this feeling only temporary.

It sure felt permanent to me. Each day without being able to talk to Leah and hold her made me bitter and angry. Yet this other pull on me that had me walking up to the Cullen's house. This draw was what she was afraid of.

It's only temporary Jakey.

You'll forget me.

No, I wouldn't forget. How could anyone forget brown eyes so cavernous? Leah's full lips and curves haunted me. I could still feel her lips on my flesh. Her soft pucker as she kissed the nape of my neck and travel down lower. I could still feel her womanhood as she allowed me to sink within her and get lost our passion. I could still hear the way she would groan and say my name. I would always remember these things. There was no clearing my head or getting over her because Leah had bewitched every fiber of my core being. I was now standing at the Cullen's front door. That dull ache in my stomach now anxious and wanting what fate had supposedly designed for me. I was supposed to knock on the door and be there and happily sit by Ness' side until she grew up. That's what fate wanted. I couldn't do it, not right now anyway, I sat down on the steps the sun was now replaced by the moon and the darkness seemed to fit my mood. I didn't want this! I felt trapped, imprisoned.

Bye Jake I'll see you around.

She whispered as she closed the door to her apartment. I knew that she'd done more than they that. She was saying goodbye to what we were and everything we should've been.

I had to admit Renesmee was a remarkable young lady and it was truly a joy to be in her presence. She was always surprising me with how deep and insightful she was. She spent most of her day talking to me about her two favorite books and how The Tale of Two Cities and Little Women. I listened but I wasn't really engulfed in the conversation. I'd read both stories when I was in high school but I wasn't really into literature. I like to be more hands on with things. I enjoyed science or the experiments at the very least. Renesmee had talked herself to sleep and was now passed out on the couch all the while I studied.

"God I hate math," I mumbled. I couldn't wait for the Cullen's to get back so that I could go to the library I studied better there. It didn't take long for my mind to wander to the last time I went to the library. I could remember the feel of Leah and her scent … God her scent drove me crazy. I could almost smell her now and I was slightly aroused. "That's not doing anything to help me focus," I grouched and then there was a knock at the door. I pulled myself from the floor and opened the door.

"Hey," she said. I was more concerned with what she had with her than what she said. "You're dad told me you were here. I just wanted to say goodbye. I decided to head back to campus a little early. Can I come in for a minute?" I opened the door further and for the first time ever she entered the Cullen's house. She looked over at Ness and her look was hard to describe but I did hear her clench her jaw. She placed her duffle back in the chair and rummaged through it. She pulled out a couple of books. "To help you with your math," she explained.

"Wow, Leah thanks this is mad decent of you." I put the books down and embraced her. I connected our bodies fully for purely selfish reasons. I made the mistake of kissing the crook of her neck and she became tense and pulled away.

"I have been known to be pretty decent … at times." She smirked a little as she zipped up her bag.

"Why are you leaving early?" I asked an obtuse question of course I knew it was because of me.

"You know why. It has been great seeing everyone though. I will try to make myself scarce until fate wields it hand but it's hard … I miss home sometimes," Leah confessed.

"You don't have to miss it. You could stay and transfer in state and we could be." Leah held her hand up and wouldn't let me finish.

"No we couldn't. Staying here only magnified all the things I want and I just can't have. I want what's best for you Jake. I want you to have everything you ever dreamed of so study hard and make your imprint proud." She hitched her bag onto her shoulder and went to leave but I stopped her at the door.

"Leah," I said and she dropped to her knees. I'd never used an alpha command and this seemed like a really bad reason to use one but we were hurting each other. I groaned I wanted to force her to love me but who wants love tainted by force. I wanted to ask her not to leave but I just couldn't do it. After a moment she came back to her senses and her eyes were filled with rage.

"What did you just do?" She yelled at me.

"Nothing, I really wanted to make you stay but I couldn't. Leah, don't leave! You don't want to just … stay." She looked back to the couch she didn't give me any words. She just shook her head and left. I watched as she hopped in her car and drove down the driveway. I was getting tired of saying goodbye to Leah. I made up in my mind that I would find a way to prove to her that I'd made my decision and I knew what I wanted. It might even take waiting the seven years out just to prove to her that although Ness was grown I didn't want her. I knew I was willing to do whatever it took, the problem was seven years was a really long time and Leah was an attractive woman. I was worried that her desire for me would fade or worse transfer onto someone new.