Unrecognized Feelings

UF 16

Bea's feelings

PVL season already started and so far we had a good record 3-1 win loss, sa pocari pa lang kami natatalo. Now we had our daily routine training it is the same sa ilang taong practice na ginagawa ko sa creamline siguro ang nag'iba lang ay partner ko si jho and hindi ko alam pero may iba akong nararamdaman pag hinahawakan niya ko. Lagi akong parang nagugulat I often had a goosebumps ganto rin ako dati nung college kami pero minsan lang kapag hindi ko lang alam na nandyan siya at bigla niya kong hahawakan pero ngayon kahit alam ko ay iba pa rin ang reaction ng katawan ko.

It started when we had our afternoon training and nagstretching kami then she puts her hands to my thigh then boom I felt goosebumps. I don't know why. I'm used on someone touching my thigh naman when we're in training coz that's normal for us. I really can't explain it kaya as time goes by pinipilit kong sanayin ang sarili ko sa mga hawak ni jho though minsan iniiwasan ko na lang na mahawakan niya and I know nagtataka na siya sa kinikilos ko but I am thankful that she never confronted me about it.

Kagaya ngayon we are in the middle of our practice and we had a practice game team A vs team B jho and I both in team B with jia as our setter then ate aly is in team A. The three of us are in front line ate ly is serving, ate mel gohing receives it properly and give it to jia then jia set it to me in a b quick play. Team A didn't receive it properly and I got the point, as soon as the ball meet the ground I celebrated like I used to do then I got goosebumps again when jho hug me. Back in our college days we used to do that and there is no effect for me but these past few days is really really different. I am so frustrated about it. 😭

"nice quick bei!" she said as she released me in her hug

"ye-yeah! hehehe" I awkwardly answered nakita ko na tumaas ang kilay niya pero di ko na lang kunwari napansin at ngumiti na lang ako sa kanya.

"nice set din juju! jiamazing talaga! haha" sabi niya rin kay jia at nginitian lang siya ni jia

"ok team isang magandang play ulit ha. I got your back always." sabi naman ni ate mel siya ang senior at libero namin ngayon sa team B

In our practice game fortunately we won against ate ly's team that rarely to happen between our practice game ha. Maybe because we had jho as scoring machine like ate ly, ate ly got more point than jho but not that much. Also I and our other teammates get a numerous points that is why we win. After that we had our water break and because I am out of focus earlier before going to practice because of jho, I forgot to bring my gatorade. haaay. I saw jho drinking her own gatorade I can't stop myself from staring at her the way she gulp and the way her sweat drip down to her face.

What do you think your doing bea?!Stop staring! That so creepy! And that's jho for goodness sake! That is what I am yelling in my mind but I can't look away. Until she stops drinking and saw me staring at her.

"hoy bei!ano tinitingin mo jan?" tanong niya. Nataranta naman ako at di ko alam kung ano isasagot ko alangan namang sabihin kong wala jho naisip ko lang ang hot mo pala pag umiinom ng gatorade at pag yung pawis mo tumutulo sa mukha mo? di ba? that will surely creep her out and I don't have the guts to say those  coz I myself don't want to know why I think that way.

Ano ba nangyayari sakin? Bakit ako nagkakaganito kay jho? at bakit kay jho pa? She is my closest friend and my best friend.

"ah eh wala!" sabi ko sabay yuko na lang

"ahhh! alam ko na! nauuhaw ka no? Wala kang dalang gatorade mo no? kaya mo ko tinitignan gusto mo humingi ng gatorade ko?" konklusyon niya hindi ko na lang kinontra dahil wala rin naman akong mabibigay na dahilan.