The Story of Jung Dahee [EXO]

Entry # 14: July 27, 2012

ENTRY# 14

“Love hurts, if rejected or betrayed. If not at all, then love is all around.” 

― Toba Beta, Betelgeuse Incident

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July 27, 2012

Dear Diary,

My mother once told me that words don’t have the power to hurt you, unless the person who said them means a lot to you. I didn’t quite understand that at first, well I still didn’t understand it until today. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared, afraid, and somehow, I feel lonely. I consider myself as being real, but I don’t particularly voice out my opinions. I’m not that open, and I’m pretty sure that’s obvious. Up until now, I still haven’t told anyone of these feelings. Well, the girls are kind of hinting it already, but I never really opened up with them. Basically, I’m too used to bottling up my feelings. Nonetheless, I have feelings too. All I want is to be loved, but you know what? I’ve learned that no matter how good a person is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while, either directly or indirectly. It just hurts the worst when the person that made you feel so special yesterday makes you feel unwanted today. But then again, what can I do? I’m just a ‘friend’ to him anyways.

Love, Jung Dahee

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Scenario:

There’s nothing much that happened on the last couple of months, well except from the constant fights between mom and Daehyun. Well, I wouldn’t really consider it a fight though. It was basically mom telling him off and the latter not speaking a word. He didn’t even spare a glance at mom. All I did was either take some walks outside, or just caging myself on my room, sometimes reading some worthy fanfics on AFF. Basically, I was alone, but I didn’t mind. I’ve always liked some peace and quiet from time to time, but I crave for some crazy business at a certain point. Not something illegal or anything though. What I meant is something like spending some quality time with friends such as shopping and watching a movie. That’s a bit absurd though since I’m at Busan and they’re all living at Seoul, so I just practically texted the girls when I get bored; well except for Sulli though. I don’t really text her. I admit, I kind of get scared at times, but I just don’t know how to start a topic with her I guess. We’re getting close though, mainly because of our growing love for K-pop, but yeah. We’re getting closer. I kind of admire her as time goes by. I like how she seems to not care of everything around her, yet she actually observes everything silently. I envy her pokerface too. I was practically an open book.

Aside from that, classes have started over last month, and I guess I’m a bit happy yet heart-broken at the same time. Happy because I get to be with Lay again since we have the same classes to most of our course subjects, but heart-broken since we’re classmates with Jessica and her friends to most of our alike classes. I admit, there was a time when I thought of changing my section, but hey. I want to be with Lay again. I kind of missed him, although his constant glances with his crush sickens me. Lover boy. Pssh.

Oh. Did I mention that I’ve become his official love doctor? I guess not. Well, as funny as it sounds, he’s been asking me for some advices and whatnot. It’s kind of absurd since I absolutely have no experience on the field whatsoever, but he just had to ask me. I don’t know what came to me, but I kind of agreed. Don’t call me arrogant or something, but I honestly think that I give some helpful advices. I know that I barely have any experience on that field, but I’m practically a kdrama addict, so you could say that I have some background information regarding that field. Okay, that sounds weird. Let’s just conclude that I acquired my advices from Korean dramas.