Rejuvenate | Spruceworth 5.2

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Shaw

       Waking up suddenly in cold sweats, I sat up from where I was lying down, breathing a bit heavily. I tried to catch my breath as I looked around in the dark, not recognizing where I was. It took a while for me to remember that I came to the Eatons' house so I wasn't home alone.

       I looked over at the DVR, sighing when I saw the time. Almost four in the morning.

       I then noticed Holden sitting at the small table between the living room and kitchen, looking at his laptop. "Why are you still awake?" I asked.

       Holden looked over at me. "I can't sleep. I'm... I'm too worried about you. You've been stirring in your sleep a lot."

       "You shouldn't worry about it," I said, leaning back into the couch. "It's normal."

       Holden furrowed his eyebrows and closed his laptop. "Normal? You've never done this in the year that we've lived together. And shared a bed."

       "Okay, then it's been normal for the past few weeks," I said. "In other words, this isn't the first time it has happened."

       Holden was silent for a bit before getting up and walking over, sitting down beside me. "If something's going on..."

       "I told you what was going on last night," I said. "Something inside of me doesn't feel right. I've been through it before when I was a teenager. I just need to let it pass otherwise everything will go downhill. That's why I wanted to spend the night here. If I was alone, I would be a lot more tempted to go out and do something I shouldn't."

       "You know, you're a lot stronger than you think you are," Holden said.

       "I'm really not," I said. "If one thing goes wrong in my life, I'm tempted to turn to those things I really shouldn't. I always think it will help me out even though it doesn't."

       "Shaw, if you weren't strong, you wouldn't have come here," Holden said. "You didn't want to stay home alone because you knew things could have gone wrong. You came here for my help even though we split up. If that isn't strong, then I don't know what is."

        I didn't say anything, and that was all because the second to last sentence Holden said. Even though we split up. I knew it was such a stupid thing on my part and even though I told Holden I never wanted to sign the divorce papers, nothing changed between us.

       At the end of the day, we were still split up.

       And I hated it.

       I was stupid enough to think that I didn't love Holden anymore when Heidi asked. Of course I still loved him. He was the love of my life.

       And I didn't think I could let him go. Ever.

       "Why don't you go lay down in my bed?" Holden asked. "You're probably not going to get much sleep on the couch."

       "What about you?" I asked. "You should get some sleep too."

       "Like I said, I can't fall asleep," Holden said. "And if I do get tired, I'll just sleep on the couch."

       I couldn't take it anymore.

       "Holden, I don't want us to get a divorce," I said. "I always make such stupid mistakes but the worst ones I ever made were letting you go twice. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and sometimes, I wonder if I'm even good enough for you. You're always there for me when I reach the lowest of lows and I repay you by abandoning you. And I adopted Gibson for a reason. I do love him. I really do. I shouldn't have acted the way I did when I found out Roman is his father because Gibson is still my son. Our son. And I promise, if you give me another chance, I'll be a better father to Gibson and a better husband to you. Please."

       "Do you ever shut up?" Holden said before pressing his lips on mine. And everything I ever felt between us was still there. It was definitely still there.

       When he pulled away, I said, "So... I'm taking that as a yes?"

       "Of course it's a yes," Holden said. "I never gave up on you. I never could."

       "I honestly have no idea how you haven't yet," I said. "I'm such a mess."

       "Well, I'm not going to deny that," Holden said. "But that doesn't mean I don't love you. And you haven't really done anything that would make me not want to be anywhere near you. Believe it or not, you're an amazing person and I couldn't be happier that I married you."

       I smiled. "You always know what do say."

       "You're right, I do," Holden said. "Which is why I'm telling you right now to go to bed. You really need some sleep."

       "So do you," I said. "And now that we're married again, we can share a bed."

       Holden stiffled a laugh. "Married again? We've been married this whole time, even though we split up."

       "Oh, you know what I meant," I said, standing up from the couch and pulling Holden up with me before leading him to his bedroom. I carefuly opened the door and closed it behind us since Gibson was sleeping peacefully and I didn't want him to wake up.

       When Holden and I were in bed and under the blankets, I couldn't help but look at him with a smile. "What is it?" he asked.

       "I'm just... Very lucky it was you that I fell in love with," I said. "Most people wouldn't have given me another chance but you are."

       "Hey, if you keep your promise and be a better father to Gibson, then there's no reason why I shouldn't take you back," Holden said.

       "And I really will be a better father to him," I said softly before leaning over and giving Holden a lingering kiss. "I love you."

       "I love you too," Holden said.

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you're welcome for finally getting sholden back together <3 (lol finally as in chapter 5 ahahaha)(i couldn't keep them apart for too long)(im surprised it didn't even happen chapter 1 lol)

buuuuut that doesn't mean we won't be getting anymore drama because we all know how much i love drama the most in this series oof

(get ready for a new person to cause a lot of turmoil and possible murders oops)

and thanks wattpad for not saving this when i publish it, so i have to close the app and redo it. im just lucky i've been copying this so i can paste it, otherwise i would have lost 700+ words