Her Name Isn't Snow

Chapter 12

I didn't want to leave, it was too beautiful a place to leave. I was in a meadow full of wildflowers and it was warm, so incredibly warm it felt like I was being kissed by the sun and taken into its warm embrace. And he was here, laying down next to me, but he was laying in a small stretch of snow. Even in these dreams, we were somehow separated. 

"Are you alright?" he asks turning onto his left side to face me. I turn onto my right side and look at him, a small smile on my face. 

"As alright as I can be, I hope we get to see you soon" I admit, placing a hand on the bump of my abdomen. He only smiles. He never would give me answers, or replies when I spoke about seeing him. Perhaps he wasn't allowed to, but it always irked me. Even if something bad was going to happen I wish he could tell me about it. 

"I miss you, it's lonely out here" I continued, allowing him to listen to my ramblings and fears. Everything just came pouring out of my lips. I didn't realize how much I needed to speak to someone until nights like this. I explained my fears, my worries about the escape plan and if I would make it back North, back to him. 

"Oh, I came up with a name for her," I told him with a smile, placing my hand back on my bump. 

"What is it?" he asks me with a knowing smile, causing me to roll my eyes. 

"I'm sure you already know, but Hope, Hope Snow," I say, unable to contain my smile or excitement. 

"That's a beautiful name, but Snow? I don't want her to be a bastard like I was" Jon explains, his smile beginning to fade. 

"I know...she'll be a Stark once we reach Robb but, I wanted her to have something of yours, even if the name isn't a proper one" I reason, slowly making myself sit up, Jon does the same. 

"I know this is hard for you, but you have to be strong, you can't think just about me anymore, you have to think about her," He says gesturing down to the bump. 

"I am thinking about her!" 

"I know you are, but you need to do what's best for her...and coming to see me might not be the best thing, the journey alone will be hard on you and the cold, Emylea you have no idea how cold it is being that far North, you couldn't handle it" He tells me, looking into my eyes with that stern, unmoving expression. Who cares what his last name was he was a Stark, that look alone was proof enough.

"I can handle it! Jon, you haven't seen me or felt my touch, things have changed, I'm different now" I say going to touch him, but I can't. Some invisible force was preventing me from moving to his side. 

"You may be, but the baby might not. What if the baby is like you? What if it can't survive the cold?" 

"All babies are like that, and it'll be fine because I'll be there to keep it warm, trust me, Jon, everything is going to be fine," I tell him with a hopeful smile, believing the words that left my lips. 

"What if I don't want to see you, or the baby?" he says, almost threateningly. 

"That's a lie, I know you want to see her and me. I can feel it" I say, trying again to get through the barrier and touch him, but my hand only crashes into the invisible bubble. 

"It isn't a lie, Emylea do you have any idea how hard it is? You're on my mind constantly, but I can't see you or get to you, only in my dreams. I keep trying to forget, but you won't let me, nothing will let me let go" he says with a forced sigh. 

"Y-you want to forget me? But...I love you...and I know that you love me. You said so yourself that we are fated, and in my heart, I know it to be true. You can't forget something like that...and I can't believe that you would want to" I say, feeling the tears start to prick at my eyes.