Her Name Isn't Snow

Chapter 17

The gaping hole that was in my chest where my heart should be, grew a little smaller by being with my sister. She was just such a comforting presence. Young and sweet and so full of life, still ignorant of what the world truly was life. She told me about her life, how her and our late brother traveled from place to place out running assassins, her marriage, being the Khaleesi, ruling her own Khalasar, her stillborn child, her entire life story she told me. Even though I knew and understood the troubles she endured, and despite her being older than me, she had no idea what the real world was like. 

Yes, I had lost a child as she did. But she didn't truly understand love or survival. I don't doubt she was in love with Khal Drogo, or that her life was hard, but I knew what it was like to have to lie, I was playing the game and I was playing it well. My heart was hardened from my life experiences, while hers was still full of life. I had nothing, while she had so much in store for her. She didn't know what life truly was, and I prayed she never found out. 

The world was hard and cruel and killed anything that loved, anything that was weak or full of feeling. 

I only told her a few things here and there. She mainly wanted to know what the land was like, what her homeland was like, so I told her. But I didn't mention his name or our child, or Robb, or any of the times that shaped me. I told her only the bare necessities. How I came to be here, and how I got my dragon Visenya. 

Years had passed from when we first met, almost four years. Over time I told her more about myself after she confronted me about it that is. 

"Let me be your sister in more than just name and blood," she told me. So that night I poured out my heart to her, and it was the first time I truly felt that I had a sister. After that, we fought together side by side. She taught me Dothraki and Valyrian, and I taught her how to handle a blade. 

She gained titles like the unburnt, breaker of chains, mother of dragons. While I got the queen of dragons, the unburnt, holder of the dragon's flame. As time passed, my flares in temper that made any nearby fires roar, grew into more. I could make flames appear in my palms, and make my skin burning hot to the touch. The dragon's flame was in my skin, not just my heart. This caused me to take a disliking to shoes, as they would burn and make me feel as if the heat was trapped inside me. But this newfound ability made the dragons listen to me, obey my commands, treat me as their queen. Hence the title. 

Currently, we were ruling in Meereen, along with Missandei, the unsullied, Myra, Monell and Tyrion Lannister. Seeing him again brought me back to that time in Winterfell, to Jon and Robb and the girls. But when he told me what had happened after the time of my escape, my heart broke all over again. Robb and Cat were dead. Ayra was missing along with Bran and Rickon. And Sansa, my dear Sansa who I spoke cruel words to when last we spoke...was married to Tyrion, abused by Joffery and now was a fugitive of the crown. 

Tyrion had very little to tell me of Jon. Only that when last they spoke he asked Tyrion to look out for me, make sure I was safe. No doubt he had heard of my alleged death. Would he have been reckless like I was? No, Jon was never reckless. 

"Princess?" 

I turned around from overlooking the city from my balcony, seeing Monell in the doorway. He smiled at me and walked over as I turned to look back out over the city. He snaked his arms around my waist from behind and placed a delicate kiss on my shoulder. 

"It's almost time for the fights" he mumbles, moving to place a kiss on my neck. We had become lovers, something I couldn't help but regret from time to time. I was still playing the game in my head, about what Jon would do and say, and Monell would win for the most part. So whenever we slept together, it was Jon's face, not his that I saw.