Switched (Jeremy Shada Fanfic)

~Chapter 23~

JEREMY'S POV

I was fully awake now, awaiting the doctors return. In the seat beside mine was the sleeping body of Mrs. Smith. Gracelyn's surgery was taking longer than we had anticipated and I couldn't help but think that something was wrong. I knew that having negative thoughts wasn't helping me in any way but I couldn't help it. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her. I was so stupid. Why did I think taking her to a party would be good in the first place? She told me she didn't like parties and I didn't listen to her, solely so that I could have a good time. Now, we are here and she is in the operating room because of my mistake. Stupid stupid stupid. Why did Liv lean in anyway? Even if she was drunk, why did she try jeopardizing her friendship with Gracelyn? Why did ---

"Jeremy!" I looked up to see the doctor waving a hand in front of my face.

"You spaced out there a bit." He smiled. I didn't respond, waiting for him to say something else. Instead, he leaned over to Mrs. Smith and woke her up before continuing.

"Well, Gracelyn's procedure went very well. She does have a boot on her leg, meaning she will need crutches. The cut on her face should heal quickly with the stitches but I advise you to watch it incase of infection. Any questions?"

"Can we see her?" My voice croaked, breaking my silence that I have held for the past 4 hours.

Dr. Anderson looked at Mrs. Smith for approval before nodding to me. He gestured for us to follow and I followed quickly, determined to fix what I messed up. When we reached the door, Dr. Anderson put an arm in front of me, blocking my passage.

"Jeremy, Gracelyn mentioned before the surgery that she wasn't in the best place with you. I think her mother should see her first just to make sure she won't freak out if she sees you." He gave me an apologetic smile.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course." I stuttered, moving sideways so that Gracelyn's mom could go in. I slumped into one of the plastic chairs lining the hallway and closed my eyes for a few minutes. Now that I knew she was ok, I could rest a little bit. My stomach turned uncomfortably at the thought that she didn't want to see me. A few minutes turned into a half hour before Mrs. Smith was shaking me awake. I took one look at her and I knew I was allowed in. I jumped out of my seat and was ready to run in there, but when I reached the door I stopped, my hand hovering over the handle. What if she hates me? What if she only wants to talk to me to break up with me? What if she didn't accept my apology?

"C'mon Jeremy. It's ok." I heard Mrs. Smith's soothing voice behind me. I took all my courage and pushed open the room of the door, closing it quietly behind me.

The room was small, yet spacey. There wasn't much furniture in the room, only the bed, a few chairs, a bedside table, and a bunch of machines that I was relieved when I realized Gracelyn wasn't hooked up to any of them.

She finally looked up, noticing I was in the room. One gaze into her eyes was enough to send my running to her bed, on the verge of crying again.

"I'm so sorry, Gracelyn. I'm so stupid and you don't deserve to be hurt like this and I'm sorry and I can't even believe I put you through this and I'm sorry and although it probably doesn't matter anymore, I didn't kiss her but I'm sorry anyway. I'm sorry for you getting a cast. I'm sorry for you getting stitches. I'm sorry for you being in the hospital. I'm sorry for screwing everything up I'm just so so sorry." At this point, the tears were flowing freely and I didn't try stopping them. I was knelt at the front of her bed, gripping onto her hand for dear life, and crying into the sheets. I felt a squeeze of reassurance come from her tiny frail hand and I looked up to see her smiling. Her eyes were wet as well.

"No, Jeremy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't trust you. If you say you didn't kiss her, you didn't kiss her. And I should know better. You're my boyfriend and a big part of a relationship is trust. I should've trusted you instead of immediately jumping to the worst conclusion and I'm sorry." She was now crying as well.