Switched (Jeremy Shada Fanfic)

~Chapter 9~

GRACELYN'S POV

I shouldn't have let my guard down. I shouldn't have let her see me cry. Wipe the tears and put on a fake smile. No one wants to burden your problems.

My mind distracted me as I stepped outside into the cool spring breeze. Everything was on slow motion. I don't remember going to the car or getting in the car. My thoughts consumed me.

He doesn't love you, let alone like you. He was pretending all along. He only wants what you don't have. You're not good enough for him. He called you a slut because you are one. You don't even like Brady. You're just going out with him to make Jeremy jealous.

A voice inside my head that wasn't my own kept repeating all the bad things about me.

He likes Felicity. She's skinny, tall, curly haired, and has flawless skin. You are the total opposite. You pig. He will NEVER love you. Forget about it.

I've never told anyone before. I'm so insecure about my body I've almost done something I would've regretted for the rest of my life. If I was still alive when I was done. No one knew how broken I was on the inside. I have this voice in my head that points out every flaw on my body. She never goes away. She's always there. When something good happens, she's there to ruin it. She's makes my life a struggle. Ever since my dad left when I was three, my life totally broke down. I tried to find love. Someone to care for me. Someone who can help me. But everytime I let someone in my life, something goes wrong and they hurt me or I end up hurting them. My mom was in her own grieving world when he died. She cared for me less, stopped doing things she used to love. Delaney practically raised me my whole childhood. She was the one that was always there. The one who would listen. But sometimes Delaney isn't near. Sure, I can call her. But it's not the same. That's where my writing came in. I would express my every feeling in my little laptop. The first day I met Jeremy, I thought things were finally getting better. I stopped writing, felt no need to. I was happy.

But then I had to go and push him away, let Brady in, and hurt everyone around me. Jeremy hurt me too and it just brought back so many bad memories.

I shouldn't have let Felicity see this side of me. I need to pull my act together. Save the tears for the pillow, as Abby Lee Miller would say.

"Gracelyn, you alright?" My head snapped to attention. Brady was glancing every so often from the road to look at me, concern clear on his face.

"Yeah. Yeah. Fine." I lied. He nodded and pulled into the movie theater parking lot. He pared the car and walked over to my side to open my door. I smiled and climbed out of the car as we walked hand in hand into the theater.

"Two tickets to the Titanic 3D, please." Brady said to the cashier. My face immediately brightened. Titanic was my favorite movie. The romance between Jack and Rose always brought me to tears. I loved the movie more than I love food. And that's a lot.

I noticed Brady smiling down at me. "What?" I asked.

"You like Titanic?" He asked with a smirk.

I nodded and gave my biggest grin. "It's my favorite movie."

"Good." He replied, grabbing the tickets from the cashier. While walking, I swear I saw a couple that looked exactly like Jeremy and Felicity. He pulled her in for a slow and intimate kiss and she smiled into it before she kissed him back. I stared in horror and hurt. I shook my head and looked up at them again. Of course it wasn't them. What would they be doing here? I felt sick. Brady strolled up to our theater but I pulled his arm to a stop before we walked in. "What's wrong?" He looked back at me.

"I-I need to go to the bathroom." I lied. "I'll be right back. Find us seats?" I untwined my hand from his and ran to the woman's bathroom. I didn't actually have to go to the bathroom. I felt like puking. My mind was racing.