His darks

Flashback 9

// a long chapter ahead, read enjoy and vote//

It was 11:00 am. Mum had already left for work, I was glad; I was not willing to face her or anyone else at the moment. I was feeling much better after the sleep; my head was not spinning that much now. I slowly pulled off the covers, and got out of bed. I dropped the bath gown and stepped inside the shower. The warm water was gently cascading down my aching body, releasing all the tension, it felt wonderful.  I went in front of the mirror, and turned slightly to have a better view of the scar Jaden gave me. I ran my fingers on it, feeling it, it hurt a lot the wound was deep and fresh, so were those horrifying memories of last night.

Had that wound been caused because of their tender love making, she would have been admiring it, instead of crying over it. She thought, Just like what a new bride would after spending a steamy passionate night in the arms of her husband. The way, bride must be admiring their traces of love, which were left as marks on her body.  Here the situations were completely different, she was not that happy bride, and she was a victim, of some man’s lust. That man, for whom she was falling hard, very hard. She was regretting all the time and those memories with him. Silently wishing for time to turn back, and all this had never really happened at the very first place.

 All his words were still echoing in my ears, ‘you look so hot and so sexy’. ‘Really..?  I don’t think so the night has just begun’.  ‘You know you are so beautiful and you are mine ‘.  ‘Really I am hurting you, you were so happy dancing with him, and you say that I am hurting you… hmm that’s not so cool Alexa.’ I pressed my palms against my ears, in a desperate attempt to stop that echoing. Tears started to fall down.  NO, NO, NO…!! I screamed, wishing that may be my screams could stop all those voices.

I got out of the shower, wiping my tired body gently. I wore loose pants and a tank top.  Remembering to be careful enough to hide the scar in front of mum or anyone else.  

I got down the steps, and headed for kitchen, as I opened the fridge.  The home telephone rang, mum must be really worried, and she hasn’t seen me since last evening. I picked the receiver, and pressed it against my ear. ‘Alexa…’ the voice, sent electric shocks down my spine, leaving my eyes wide open. With shaking hands, I put down the receiver, as fast as I could. Stepping back, from the telephone, my heart started racing. Again the telephone rang, leaving me shaken terribly. A voice in my head told me to at least let him explain himself once. I went up, and picked the phone.

With all the confidence I could gather, I spoke.

Me: say Jaden..??  Let’s hear it; what do you want to say now.

Jaden: Alexa, please forgive me, it was a terrible mistake. I was drunk, I was not in my senses, please give me one chance, I can’t lose you and our friendship.

Me: Jaden do you realize, what have you done, you molested me, you tore off my cloths, you have hurt me!!!! And now what all you had to say that you were drunk.  I have been out with my drunken friends before as well, but no one had ever shown such a reckless behaviour. I had never expected such behaviour from you, you just ruined everything, and now there is nothing left. I don’t want to see your face ever again.

Jaden: Alexa please give me one chance, just a chance. Please forgive me.

His pleadings and voice sounded so genuine, his voice was on the verge of breaking. I was dying inside for speaking to him in such a way, but it was the correct thing to do at this moment. The incidence had left me shaken from within, and I was not willing to be around him anymore, I was only eager to finish something that never actually started.

Me: Jaden, stop it..!! I don’t wish to speak to you ever again, so please stop calling me.

Jaden: ok… ok Alexa, I will not call you...  Jaden said with a broken voice

As Jaden said those words, I realized he was crying I hung up the phone. Nor wanting to break down on phone. As I kept back the receiver, I broke down. I was just lying still on the floor and crying out all my pain out as much as I could. In a desperate attempt to ease my pain. Never in my life had I felt so miserable, and helpless.  

The tears were like never ending flow of those emotions that wanted to come out but they were not coming out in the correct form. The love that I had for him has drowned me into the sea of tears. I could not see any escape, how can I escape from that love that was burning me alive? How can I escape of that pain he has put me through? How can I escape from all those moments we shared? His laugh, his voice, his teasing is still echoing in my ears.

There were so many questions but there was no answer to them, or maybe I was correct, whatever I thought about him. Maybe he is the bad guy, but I was too blind to see it, feel it and face it. Now whatever had happened maybe it’s a warning, or may be My head was spinning and I was drained and exhausted. This whole lot of thinking had worsened my condition.

May be Jaden too feels the same about me..?  Maybe he is in love with me..? My thoughts were making the situations all the more hard. No he can’t be he is a flirt he can never ever fall in love with a girl like me. These possibilities were very uncertain, and now Jaden will never cross my way. May be he wasn’t meant to stay, and so all this happened.

It was 5:00 pm. Time passed away and I had not eaten anything since morning. I was just sitting on floor staring at the blank space, trying to collect my broken pieces together. Until my stomach made a noise, reminding me how hungry I was. I went up to the kitchen, poured myself some milk and cereals,  I had my first meal since morning it felt better now.

 When I was coming out of kitchen, the phone rang. And for a moment I felt as if my heart skipped a beat. Jaden?  Why is he calling again? What he has to say now. I picked up the receiver and to my surprise it was a call from Toby.

Toby: hey dear what are you up to..??

Me: umm nothing much I guess...

Toby: ok so I am taking you and your mother out, tonight we will have a great time together..?

Me: ok Toby, I will be ready by 9.

Toby was so excited; I could not break his heart. He was a part of our family now. Mum was so happy after all these years. I will make all the efforts I can to make her happy. Keeping aside all my pains and suffering I was ready for the night’s dinner.

It was 8, and I started getting ready for the dinner. Mum was downstairs, she too was getting ready. My mind was occupied with the same thoughts; they did not leave me alone for a moment. The conversation I had with Jaden was constantly running in my mind. I had to put lots of makeup so that none of them could suspect that I was crying the whole day. I changed my pants and wore a pair of denims, but I was wearing the same tank top. Wearing anything else, could cause more pain to my wound if the fabric rubbed against my skin. I had left my hair open, careful enough to hide my wound with my long curls.

Toby picked us both at 9. We went to a Diner that served the best Italian food. As the lady came to take our orders, without thinking I ordered a plate of Spaghetti and meatballs. Spaghetti reminds me of that meal, Jaden had prepared for me. My eyes started to water. I excused myself and went to the washroom to wipe away the traces of tears. I was heading back; I saw Toby and mum were so happy with each. I had to wear that fake smile, just for the sake of my mum’s happiness.

Dinner went fine, Toby had a nice sense of humour, and he made us laugh so much, especially mum. With Toby she was a completely different person. I was happy for her. By 11 we came out of Diner.

I got out of car, few blocks before, so that they can have a moment with each other alone. And I started walking towards my house, slowly. I saw Jaden’s house he lived just across the street. I looked to his house; he was standing on his balcony.  It was clear he had been crying his eyes were puffy and red. When he saw me, he was about to come to me.

I gestured him NO..!! By shaking my head in disapproval, and mouthing him ‘Don’t’.  By now my cheeks were wet in tears. I quickly went inside my house, closing the door behind me, without looking back.

It was 1:00 am. I was still crying, and I had been crying from last 24 hours. This was the second night I had cried myself to sleep. With a silent hope, that maybe the coming day, would be a better one, I drift off to sleep.