His darks

Flashback 10

It was Monday morning, I woke up at 7. I stepped outside my balcony, it was cloudy, and could rain soon.  I tightened my stole around my arms, as the chilling breeze continued to flow. My mind drifted back to the day, when I was standing in the same place. And Jaden showed up, really early with two cups of coffee. All the efforts and everything he did for me, how he was always by my side, every single memory came running in my mind. The way his lips moved when he took my name, was so mesmerizing. Now standing here alone, I remember everything all those words he ever said to me in past few days. How drastically things have changed between us once again. There was one incidence that brought us so close, and then another one has made us too far. In these few days, I was so used to him, I knew so much about him, and we shared such a beautiful bond.

Now when I remember all those times all I have left in me is regret. Regret of being friends with him, regret of allowing him to come this close to me, regret of letting him catch me, and the biggest of all falling so hard for him. Now that fall is hurting me so hard, the worst part is, I am bleeding but it’s the kind of bleed which is invisible to all. No one can have a slightest idea how of shattered I am, because of such a fall.

By now my cheeks were wet from tears; I erased all traces of them from my face. I stepped inside the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and took a long soothing shower. I got dressed up, in a pair of denims and tank top, careful enough to hide my wound again.

 I headed downstairs, the home telephone rang. Who could that be, so early..? As I picked up the phone, I was glad it was Dale. It’s been like two days since I have spoken to him.

Dale: hey Alexa, where were you..?  And why is your phone is switched off?

 Just the same moment I remembered, that I had not charged up my phone, since that night, it must be laying somewhere and I have no idea, where my phone is.

Me: oh Dale, I was not well, my head was hurting again. (I lied to him, which surprised me)

Dale: ok, I will be picking you up for school; I have something important to tell.

What could Dale have something so important to talk about, its good he is picking me up I can tell him about Saturday night.

Me: ok dale, I will be waiting... bye.

Dale: bye Alexa.

I wondered what he wanted to talk about, he was sounding cool, I don’t think so he has any idea about the Saturday night. I was debating in my mind whether, I should tell him or not. And I questioned myself since when I have started hiding things from my friends? I pushed aside all these thoughts, thinking always ruins the situations, at least for me.

Mom had prepared a wonderful breakfast for me, she had been really happy these days, part of me was very happy for her. I pushed aside my own misery and we chatted about random stuff and how she wants her wedding to be. She prepared Bangers and mash, that being sausage and mashed potatoes. They tasted heavenly, filling my taste buds completely. I took my last sip of coffee and Dale was already outside waiting for me.

I grabbed my bag, took one last look in the mirror adjusting my hairs in such a manner that it covered my wound. I headed towards his car

I hugged him tightly, not wanting to leave him as soon as I was seated inside. He returned the gesture by hugging me all the more tight. In the process one of his palms had accidently cupped my wound; I winced in pain and jerked away from him. 

He was surprised by such a behavior of mine.

‘Alexa what happened are you all right..?’ His voice sounded concerned.

‘Yes I am fine, I was… I was not well’, I stammered, again I lied to him.

 Why  can’t i just tell him the truth why do I have to behave in such a manner. Maybe I was not wanting ‘anyone’ to know, what all happened with me. But these people were my friends and not just ‘anyone’.

Breaking my own silence I spoke, trying to jump on some other topic. ‘You wanted to tell something..?’

‘Oh yes how can I forget’ his voice sounded so cheerful, I looked him, he looked a little different; his face was gleaming with happiness.

‘Umm … well on Sunday morning outside the church, when I came out of church I met Tess, she was waiting for me there. She was wearing the same yellow dress I gifted her, she was apologizing for everything. She wanted me back in her life, she sounded so sincere and genuine. I decided to give ourselves one more chance.’

‘Really …!! You and Tess are together again..? Oh Dale I am so happy for you’ I tried to sound as cheerful; as I could.

As soon as those words left Dale’s mouth, I could sense jealousy building up inside me. My words and feelings did not mach. I was jealous, I was jealous of everyone’s happiness. Mum and Dale, both were moving forward in their lives it was me, which was struck. I was jealous of their happiness, my misery and fate seemed smirking down at me. Everyone was happy, only I was struck. I was taken aback by my own thoughts. How could I think in such a way, I was unhappy and so I could not bear the happiness of the one’s who were so dear to me. What was happening to me?

In the rest of ride, Dale was the one who kept talking; I did not even spoke a word. Dale was too happy to notice that, he got his love back why would he be not happy. I decided I will not tell Dale or anyone else about that incident.

I got out of the car, and went to collect my books from my locker. I saw my schedule, it was English. I was late again, not to miss terribly late. There were hardly students seen, all must be already inside their classes.

Alexa’s P.O.V-

Shitt..!! I murmured to myself. I am so late for the class again. I was rushing for my class, the whole campus was empty. Not a single student was out. As I was hurrying for my class, trying to hold my books properly so that they don’t fall on ground. What I saw in front of me left me frozen at the very moment.

I saw Jaden coming; he was coming from the back door of parking lot which directly led to the inside of campus.

My legs halted, seeing him. He too was running late, his gaze met mine. The world around us seemed spinning, we were both only few steps away from each other. There was no one around us; we were both accompanied by a strange emptiness and a haunting silence. His expressions softened seeing me. Millions of thoughts were running inside my mind at that moment. His gaze had glued me to that place. I could have stood there all day, admiring and trying to read his adorable gaze.  I wish I could read his mind and hear his thoughts.

I sensed him coming towards me, I walked past him, with all the confidence I had. Relief washed over me, when I saw he was not following me. I went inside my class as quickly as I could.   

Jaden’s P.O.V-

This was the first time I was late for my class. I parked my car and hurried. I came inside the campus from the back door. I was hurriedly climbing the steps I glanced at my watch, I was very late.

When I looked in front, my world stopped at that moment. I saw Alexa, she was standing just few feets away from me. She too was late, she always is.

It felt as if time had stopped at its own free will, everything around me suddenly stopped making sense. From being so close then back to strangers, it felt so awkward.  Part of me wanted to see her usual old smile, which always lightened her face, whenever she saw me. Everything was so unusual and so different now.

Her sweet voice was echoing in my ears, things changed so drastically between us. We were so happy; all those memories came flooding in my mind. Her smile, her fragrance her voice suddenly I missed the old times so much.

I tried to approach her, but she walked past me. My heart was beating louder than ever. I felt so bad, I wish I could reach out and hold her in my arms, could apologize for such a behavior. As she walked past me, I slightly turned my face to see her. Her gaze was fixed on the ground as she tried to get away from me as soon as she could. Everything around me seemed spinning.