His darks

End of flashback

Feelings

....... Alexa stood up, the stool made a squeaking noise, as the worn out metal rubbed against the uneven floor. Making the situation all the more tensed and the air around them heavy.  She found difficult to breath around him, he was making her suffocated without even doing anything.  She walked passed him, giving him a shudder in his shoulder, its impact was deep, as she herself could feel the pain in her arm. She walked out of cafeteria and school. She was surprised by such a behaviour of hers and what surprised her even more that now she had tears in her eyes.

I was walking aimlessly into the woods; I was feeling so numb and so empty. He had no such feelings for me; I knew he admitted that few nights before. His words are still fresh in my mind. He said he hated me; he was just flowing with emotions that night.  I was stupid to have believed his eyes, how could I be so, so stupid. He can never fall in love with a girl like me, never ever. Tears were flowing continuously. Why was I even crying when I knew this whole thing was one sided. Why every time I was allowing him to break me?  Why?? Questions were so many but there was no answer to them.

I was sitting under a tree, my head was resting on my knees and I was crying nonstop. My bag was lying on the ground some of my books were peeping out but I hardly cared. I looked up; tear eyed when I heard rustling of dry leaves. It was Jaden he was standing there his hands shoved inside his pockets and he was leaning at the tree.

‘You know I hate tears, especially when I see them in those big beautiful eyes of yours’ Jaden said his gaze was fixed on me.

 I was still weeping I wanted to ask him so many questions, but didn’t had the strength to fight with him anymore. He was so unpredictable; few moments back he was so daringly flirting with some other girl. On seeing me he did not stop he further continued. Now what was he doing here? And more importantly why did I behave in such a way, he was not my boyfriend or lover and he can do whatever he feel like, why did I react in such a way? The reason is still unknown to me. Every time my own emotions surprise me so much.

‘Why are you here?’ I asked blankly.

‘For you’, was his simple reply.

‘You may go from here she must be waiting for you’, I said

‘She can wait’ and he chuckled saying the words.

I got up from the ground and dusted my pants, I pretended hard very hard to stay strong but just couldn’t. He always made me weak. I started collecting my books and kept them back in my bag. He came near me, and my heart beats quickened.

‘Why are you crying?’ he asked his head tilted and his fingers were gripping my left arm.

I asked myself the same question, why was I crying? Oh I was crying because you were flirting with some other girl and I was so jealous, my inner voice spoke. What should I reply to such a question?  I was staring him blankly, what will I say now.

‘Because I feel like’ I spoke in a loud firm voice.

‘And why is that so?’

Why was he playing such games with me, was he making fun of me? Of course he was. He always has, he is such a devil. I started to walk away, trying to get free of his tight hold.

‘Leave me Jaden’ I said with clenched teeth.

‘Not until you tell me, wait I know you were jealous weren’t you. Seeing me with some other girl, you wished that it was you’. He whispered, he was holding me against him so tight and dangerously close.

He was towering over me, his grip was very tight. My mouth fell open hearing those words from him, which was the truth but it hurt me like whip. He was very close to me, he was taking full control. Whenever he was around I always lost my senses. I had no control over my emotions, my mind and my body.

‘Leave me, I am not answerable to you I can never have any such feelings for a man like you’ I lied.

‘You know you are terrible at lying’ he smirked

I was extremely exhausted with these games of his, he always controlled me. I tried to struggle, to break free from his grip but it further tightened.  We were all alone here in woods, my back was resting against the tree trunk and he was holding both my arms tightly.

‘What do you want’ I tried to shout but couldn’t.

He leaned further over me, and spoke seductively ‘You’.

My eyes were wide open hearing that one simple word. What was he saying?

My knees were about to give up any moment, he was so close to me, his manly cologne was raising hidden desires of mine. I inhaled in deeper; my lungs needed oxygen but more importantly his fragrance, that essence of his had always put me on fire. I closed my eyes, he was so close to me, and I feared if I looked into his piercing ones he will read all my feelings, which I was trying so hard to hide. His hands had pinned mine, to the sides. He was leaning more and more close, I could barely move.

‘Open your eyes’ he commanded.

I shut them all the more tightly, I just couldn’t, and I had no strength to meet his gaze.

‘Open your eyes’, he said again this time more tenderly.

I did as he said, that moment and that time, was one of my most memorable one. It was the first time I was seeing him this close in his eyes; he looked like some Greek god. His gaze fell on my lips I knew what he was thinking. His one hand had gripped my waist, pulling me closer. His mere touch had wakened my inner most demons. His thumb was tracing my collar bone and then my lips, sending chills down my spine. His every move was turning me on so bad.

Jaden held my face in his palms and within fraction of seconds his lips were on mine, it was initially a slow sensual kiss. He kissed me with such a passion and such arrogance, this was even better than the first time. His wet lips were sliding over mine, he was moaning and so was I. He kissed me more and more; it felt like he did not want to stop. It felt like heaven, a true heaven.  We stopped, I pushed him away I didn’t want to stop but I needed to catch my breath. I was so breathless; my heart was racing so fast I was breathing so heavily. He stepped away from me; wiping his wet lips seductively he chuckled. I had no idea a mere kiss could feel so heavenly.

‘How was it, better than last time? You like this don’t you we will do much better next time’

I regretted it, the kiss.  The very instance those words left his mouth. He was making fun of me again. He has always done that, I was an idiot to have allowed him to come this close to me and now here I was standing trying to catch my breath after his ‘charming assault’. I closed my eyes tightly, a wave of emotions was forming inside me, I was hurt, angry and wounded. He was still playing those stupid games of his with me.

‘It’s a game for you isn’t it, you hurt me, you like it this way’ I tried to act bold saying those words.

‘Yes it’s a game for me; it always was’ he said blankly.

His words left a deep wound on my soul, he was only playing along, I was so correct he can never feel the same way I do for him. I was angry at my own stupidity, my own recklessness. For him I was just an object his plaything. I knew the truth still hearing them from his mouth was so hurtful.

I was so exhausted with everything I tried to collect my stuff, and hung my bag on my shoulders ready to leave from this place. A part of me wished that he stop me, I knew my false hope had done so much of harm to me, and here again I wished for something that is never going to happen.

I wanted to leave from this place as soon as possible.  I was about to go, he held my hand I desperately wanted him to stop me and he did stop me. I turned around to face him

‘Your book, it was lying here you forgot this’

All my hopes were again shattered, I took my book from him and left the place silently.

// here comes another chapter, there is a lot to come, why did Jaden didn’t express his feelings today, he could have easily told her his feelings? He has something else in his cunning mind; next chapter will be a blast stay hooked.//