You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello there!
You: I've been talking to strangers on Omegle sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. Are you a religious person, by any chance? Do you have a minute or two to talk about Jesus?
Stranger: yes
You: That's great!
You: Well, did you know that Jesus died for us?
Stranger: yupp i love jesus
Stranger: yes i know
You: That's awesome! Do you mind me asking your religion?
Stranger: umm sure no problem
You: What religion do you consider yourself as?
Stranger: calthlic
Stranger: u
You: Oh great! Well have you heard of the Phophet Joseph Smith?
Stranger: no
You: Well, he was a chosen prophet by Jesus Christ himself.
Stranger: oh ok
You: He chose Joseph Smith to restore his church
You: *chosen
You: *chose
You: pardon me
Stranger: lol u speak spanish
You: I'm sorry, I do not.
Stranger: oh ok
You: But Joseph Smith was raised in a spiritual but not religious family in New York, USA.
You: in the 1800's
Stranger: thats really good you telling people about jesus
You: But he always had this feeling inside of him. Wanting to know which of the religions spoke the truth.
Stranger: ok nice good
You: Joseph ended up taking the bibles advice.
You: He asked the only person who really knew.
You: Do you know who that person is?
Stranger: no
You: Jesus Christ, that's who!
You: Jesus gave Joseph the answers he seeked.
You: He lead Joseph into the forests, where he showed Joseph these golden plates, that were hidden in a cave.
You: On them was some strange, unknown writing
You: Jesus himself gave Joseph the ability to translate these plates.
Stranger: oh thats cool nd can i tell you a question
You: Sure!
Stranger: why kid getting pregnate by the age of 13 and up
Stranger: kids*
You: That's a great question
You: And here's the answer.
You: Because they are raised to worship God.
You: Those plates that Joseph found, they held the truth.
You: They showed that the TRUE god is in fact a giant spaghetti monster that watches over all of us.
You: We must offer him sacrifices of meatballs to please him.
You: If those children did that, they would be having care free sex without the fright of being pregnant!
Stranger: ok thnx for telling me nd did you know famous rapper are illumanite
Stranger: how ever u spell it
You: The Illuminati is actually an ancient group of individuals who wish to guide the human race away from the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster.
You: The group has been around for thousands of years.
Stranger: yea i really hate them they put sad thing about god in the music the rappers sing
Stranger: jesus
You: You see, Jesus was the son of "god" technically. Just not the god we are taught about.
You: The Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster is actually not a forgiving god.
You: He will smite all those who are of other religions.
You: And he will send us into the oven below instead of the water filled pot above.
You: If you wish to join us there, you must spread the good word.
You: The Flying Giant Spaghetti Monster will spare us, but only if he receives the proper respect and sacrifices from all of us.
Stranger: hey 1 more question please
You: Anything, brother
Stranger: is the world gonna end
You: That is a difficult question.
You: You see, in the book of Tomato Sauce, Chapter 7, it talks about the end of the earth.
You: "The sky will turn red with the sight of tomato sauce raining from the pots above. The fires below, will sizzle and burn away the sauce. The Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster will watch from above as all sinners will perish in the spawn of his secret recipe."
You: The book also does mention a time frame, but it has been lost in translation.
You: However, we are able to take hints from the text.
Stranger: ok thanks brother for all the questions you anawer
Stranger: answer
You: For example, the book mentions how builds tall enough that we cannot see the tops, crumbling into miles of rubble.
You: So we can assume that it may very well be soon.
You: And you're welcome, brother.
You: I hope I have enlightened you and shown you the truth.
Stranger: yes you did thank you
You: If you have any questions, you can always come to our mass on Thursday Mornings.
You: We meet in the Kitchen of the local Italian restaurant.
Stranger: please brother can i have your number please
You: I'm sorry. the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster disapproves of telephones.
Stranger: ok welll thank you nd if example i act good all my life can i go to heaven brother
You: The Cooking Pot welcomes all who spread the word.
Stranger: ok i will spread the word
You: Well brother, I enjoyed this talk.
Stranger: me to you expired my life to tell people about jesus
You: Please, feel free to meet us at Succhiami Il Cazzo
Stranger: ok i will nd why do kids again disrespect there parents all the time
You: That would be the work of the Giant Flying Chocolate Cake Fiend.
You: He works through all of us, to inspire evil.
Stranger: ok thanks
You: You're welcome, brother.
Stranger: i gotta go sorry brother but thank you i hope we meet again
You: I hope you find the time to come and see us.
You: Remember...
You: Succhiami Cl Cazzo
You: Succhiami Il Cazzo
You: Sorry, I misspelled it the first time.
Stranger: ok byee brother
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
YOU ARE READING
Trolling people :') It's just what I do best!
RastgeleI'm sorry :D Sources; Omegle, Wattpad,