Days With Zion Dawsey

3. Alone

"Fucking hell!" Zion yelled as he accidentally pushed his full glass of expensive whiskey off the table. The liquor stained his carpet as the man stood up in anger. He's had enough anyways, but he was convinced that this was also somehow Ebony Stewart's fault.

He knew it was! Zion thought as he bend down, swinging sideways because of the amount he's already drunk. He gave up, visibly exhausted and dizzy as he sat down on the floor next to his work desk at home. 

He sighed and let his head fall. Why did she do that to him? He wondered, clenching his fists. She must be planning something. Why else would she live so close to his mother? She wanted to ruin their relationship, didn't she?! She had to! His open hand slapped the ground.

Zion was a mess, obviously. He just couldn't wrap his head around the new situation. He just learned that the woman who was causing him trouble since day one, moved into his mom's neighbourhood. The mother he lied to regarding his relationship with Bonnie. He remembered his exact words weeks ago. In fact, he remembered the whole scene as if it would take place right in front of him.

"Stop slapping me, mother." Zion said as he eventually rose from the chair, looking down at his mother. Sheryl Dawsey was still fuming, knowing her son had just lied to her. She knew he was the father of that boy.

She went to strike him again, but he got a good grip on the rolled up magazine and ripped it out of his mother's hands. Sheryl sighed and plopped back down into her seat in exhaustion. She covered her eyes with her hand, holding back tears. 

"Mother." Zion's voice immediately softened as he put the magazine back down onto its previous place. He crouched down to be in front of his mother, hoping to catch her eyes.

"I don't know what you want me to say, but I don't see anything extraordinary. He looks like a healthy kid and Bon- Miss Stewart looks happy." He tried, making his mother sigh once more. 

"Please say something." He said after five full minutes of silence between them. His mother finally lifted her hand off her face and looked down at him. Her authentic eyes seemingly keeping him captivated.

"Answer me one thing, Zion." She said and her son refrained from gulping as he nodded for her to go on. Sheryl sat up a little and took a hold of his hand, hoping to get the truth out of him.

"Are you the boy's father?" That question. That bloody question made his stomach turn, his blood boil and his eyebrow to twitch. He knew he had to lie because otherwise he had to explain everything and also tell his mother that she wasn't able to see her first and probably only grandson. 

He had to answer fast, so she would not think he lied. He had to calculate his advantages and disadvantages of lying in less than a second in order to have an effective ending to that conversation. He was aware of the fact that of his mother ever found out, that was the end of their relationship. She would hate him for the rest of her life and probably curse him as well.

"No." Yet, his answer shot out of him like a response ready to come out for ages. He immediately saw his mother's face fall and hoped that was because she realized how ridiculous that thought was. He watched her carefully straighten in the chair. He straighten his back and stood in front of her, waiting for her next words. 

She started nodding slowly and rose from her seat. Without glancing at her son, the elder woman made a turn and headed towards the staircase. Zion watched with a frown and couldn't help but call out for her.

"Mother?" He asked her, making his way over to her. She stopped in her tracks without turning around to look at him. She lifted her hand, hearing her son's footsteps come  to a halt. 
"I am tired. You know your way out." Was all she said before walking upstairs. 

The rest is as uneventful as Zion's love life. He went home and decided to just leave his mother alone for a while. He's been checking up on her ever since then though, just watching her house after work. It's been three weeks since he's seen and talked to his mother. Which was not unusual between the two but something was bothering him about it. 

"I'm a disgrace." He said to no one, since he lived alone. Alone. Alone in his cold mansion. He was so freaking cold right now. But he didn't get up from his seat on the floor. On the contrary, he actually lied down and closed his heavy eyes. 

Suddenly he smiled. It wasn't a happy one though as he shook his head and chuckled in sarcasm. 
"A fucking disgrace!" He repeated as he thought of all the reasons why. 

But then his eyes shot open and he took a deep breath. Zion rolled over and got on all fours, trying to slowly stand up again. It took him a few minutes to stabilize himself but once he did, he walked towards his room in a fast pace. 

Once he reached the huge bedroom, he almost fell against the bed as he tried to kneel down in front of it. As if his life was depending on it, his hand searched for something under his bed. Once he got a hold of it, he pulled it out. 

He laughed sardonically as he saw the old, dust-covered book. How long has it been since he held that exact book in his hands. His now trembling hands. He realized his body was giving in on him as his vision got blurry. He wiped his tears away with his arm and focused on opening the diary. 

His long fingers skipped the pages until he found the one he wanted to read. For the nth time, he started:

I worry about him. He's changed so much in the past year. I guess that's puberty but I still feel like he's getting himself into trouble. Trouble he can't get out of alone. Of course I'm going to help him. I would already, if he wouldn't keep running from me. Five times have I already tried to talk to him today, but he's avoiding me. I don't know what to do. 

A sob escaped Zion when he finished that paragraph. He noticed that his tears were messing with the ink and so he immediately skipped the page and found another very familiar one:

I got a scholarship from Harvard and MIT! I can't even decide which one to take but it will be one of those. I knew my hard work would pay off someday. And once I get my degree, I'll take over Dad's company, just like he said. I can't wait to be an adult! I can't wait to make money and be successful! I told my parents of course. They were so ecstatic. I wanted to tell pretty boy as well, but he was nowhere to be found. I guess it'll have to wait. He probably doesn't care anyways. 

Before he knew it, Zion broke down. The book was now laying on the bed and he was on the floor next to it, curled up in a ball an trembling as if he was cold. He cried until he couldn't anymore. 

His stomach hurt, his throat was sore, his head pounded and his neck was stiff. He was miserable but still managed to continuously apologize to the person who should've been alive and healthy if it wasn't for him. To the only person who always stood behind him, no matter what. 

"I'm so sorry."