Days With Zion Dawsey

34. The Notebook

Bonnie woke up a few hours after she closed her eyes. River was screaming and she quickly fed him before tucking him back into bed. Bonnie decided to sleep in her bed for the night, but ran back into Zion's room to get her clothes.

They were sprawled all over the floor and she had a hard time finding her bra. But she soon spotted the strap peeking out from under Zion's bed. She kneeled down and pulled the bra out. To her surprise something hooked onto it and so she was soon in the posession of a notebook. It was made out of brown leather and Bonnie frowned, knowing she should not open it.

When she glanced at Zion, she jumped. He must've woken up whilst she was gathering her clothes. He was seated on the bed, the blanket only covering his waist down. The moonlight shone onto his chest and he looked just as majestic as always. But his face was not so angelic anymore once she saw his glare.

"I wasn't going to open it." Bonnie quickly explained. Zion clenched his jaw and snatched the notebook right out of her hands. His gaze was focused on the leather cover for a few seconds. Bonnie gulped at the silence and slowly sat down on the bed again. Zion looked at her, seemingly trying to decide whether he should yell at her or just let her leave.

"It's not mine." He eventually said and Bonnie blinked.
"Whose is it?" She asked, figuring he would've kicked her out already if he was mad at her or didn't believe that she was going to put it back.

"My brother's." Zion whispered, looking back at the notebook with a clenched jaw. His voice sounded far away and so did his gaze look to Bonnie. She knew a few things about his family, but no one seemed to ever talk about his older brother. Though she did want to know more about Zion and wanted him to trust her, she knew she should let him do the talking.

"It- uh- it was his diary." Zion continued after another long minute of silence.
"It's the last thing that he's used before he-" His sentence was cut short. Bonnie could practically feel the pain in his voice and she wished she could take it away. Her heart ached for him, which was only a split part of what he must've felt when he lost his brother.

"His name was Malachi and-" Zion glanced at Bonnie with a frown.
"Did you know I had a brother?" He asked her, making her nod. He shook his head with a sarcastic scoff.
"Did you know that he died because of me?" Zion looked at her.

"I- I didn't." She said with all honesty. She had no idea how Malachi died, no one really knew except for Zion's family of course.
"Well, I did." He said, opening the book. He skipped all the pages and shoved the book into Bonnie's hands.

"That's the last entry. It's the night it happened." He urged her to read.
"Zion, I don't think I should-" It felt wrong to read his brother's diary, since a diary was not supposed to be read by anybody except for the person owning it.
"Read it." He growled. Bonnie gulped and let her curiosity get the best of her.

I heard him leave again. He's not as sneaky as he thinks. I am done waiting for him to open up. He has changed so much and I've seen him walk around with guys that are not to joke with. I'm afraid he has gotten himself into something bad, something worse than he can comprehend. I cannot let this happen, I am his big brother. I'll follow him and update you as soon as I'm back.

"What happened?" Bonnie asked, the tears in her eyes threatening to fall. Her hands were shaking and her heart never stopped aching. Zion looked at her for a while, watching her cheeks get wet. She closed the book and thrust it back onto his lap. His jaw clenched again and he took a deep breath.

"Zion?" She asked again, hating the sound of her trembling voice and the way she couldn't control her sobbing. Zion was in his own world as he read the last entry for the nth time. The guilt immediately attacked him and he gripped the cover so hard, the tips of his fingers turned white.

"Don't." Bonnie said, getting a hold of the book and closing it. She looked at his face and for the first time saw his tears. It was weird for her to see Zion cry but it was even weirder that he was not sobbing or anything. The tears just silently rolled down his face and it broke her heart. Bonnie called his name again and started wiping his cheeks. It seemed like he had completely shut down for a while. But once Bonnie hugged his neck, he responded by holding her close to him with his arm around her waist.

"It's okay." She whispered into his ears and finally felt him let go. His body was shaking with each sob that he eventually let out. He cried into Bonnie's shoulder as she continuously stroked the back of his head. She found out it was soothing him a few hours ago and hoped it helped him calm down now.

"Make me forget, Bon." Zion breathed out, tightening his arms around her. Bonnie gasped for breath but tightened her own arms around his neck. Zion proceeded to lay her down on her back next to him as he hovered above her.

"Zion." Bonnie said, looking into his eyes. But he didn't want to hear it as he immediately covered her lips with his again. He was still naked from a few hours ago and so was Bonnie.

And soon they engaged in another round of sex. And another...