Secrets of a Schuyler Sister {Angelica Schuyler}

18

Angelica's voice shook both young men out of the conversation.  She could see that much.

Alexander whirled around to the sound of her voice, eyes large.  He sat there in that position, stiff and staring at her for a long moment.

Angelica grappled for words, but found none.

"Hi," she said, voice soft and expressionless.

"Hey," he replied, still stunned.

Angelica felt the wavering quiet surround them, and hated it.  But there was nothing she could do.  She walked over to his bedside and sat there.

Silence passed between them.

"I'm sorry," Alexander said finally.  His eyes stared up at her, cracked and overcome with a layer of tears as he recounted on everything. "I messed up."

"Me too," Angelica whispered.

So many words and confessions hung in the air, remnants of regret and guilt.  Shards of memory and exhaustion and shame.  Neither of them knew how to say anything else besides sorry, for everything that had happened.  So they just sat there in front of each other, watching and waiting and staying.

Five minutes of this staying passed, until eventually Angelica found that both their hands had reached out to hold each other.

Alexander's mouth quirked into a wry lopsided grin, "Hmm. Sorry about the blood."

Angelica realised that his knuckles were scraped and dried of blood.  She put both her hands over his one hand, and touched his split skin.

"Do they hurt?"

"No," Alexander answered.  He looked down at his knuckles and curled his hands into fists, wincing as his skin split more. "Ah ... kinda."

She scoffed, lips drying up into a wry smile, "Why would you do that to yourself?" She whispered this, almost scolding him but at the same time... just curious. "What was it all for?"

"Are you kidding me?" Alexander said. "It was for you. It's all for you."

He leaned forward, putting his other hand lightly over their pile of hands, so that now they weren't sure who was holding who.

"Okay?" He said.

Angelica stared at their hands clumped together, her hands trying to shade his scraped bloody skin, and his hands trying to protect her clean fragile ones.  They were a mismatch that fulfilled each other.

She heard footsteps enter the room.

And then a voice said, "Oh."

Eliza.

"Wow, that was..." Eliza drew in a breath that seemed to be hiccuped. "That was fast."

"Eliza," Alexander's voice flooded with panic.  Angelica looked at him, and then down at their hands again.  She pulled her own out of the pile, putting them at her sides.

"It's okay, Alexander.  She told me everything," Eliza went on hurriedly, before he could make up an excuse. "You don't... have to lie to me anymore."

A dreadful silence followed this.

"Eliza," Angelica started, voice threaded with guilt. She stood up to meet her.

"It's okay, Angelica," Eliza said, but her gaze seemed soft and vulnerable. "We've talked.  You know how I feel. Alexander is who I need to talk to now."

A quiet moment passed, as this registered.  Angelica stole a glance at Alexander, and saw him staring numbly at the wall, looking regretful.

"Right," Angelica said. "Okay... then if you need anything, I'll be with Thomas."