Our Own World

Chapter Nine - The Note

After youth group, we hung out at Ace's house for a while.

"I never knew she died." He said. "Technically, I never even met her."

"Yeah, I guess you never did. You became my best friend after she died. I feel like I'm replacing her. I never wanted to." I said crying. "But you're an amazing friend Ace; don't take this the wrong way. I still love you as much as Amber; I just don't want to ever forget about her."

"She'll always have a place in your heart," He asked.

"Yeah, she will." I said. "Just sometimes, even though I really don't want to, I forget about her. I'm just hoping if you leave, you'll never leave my heart." I said smiling. I hugged Ace tightly and then we moved on.

Near nine o'clock Ace and I went outside; it was almost dark. We hung out there and had a mini picnic in his backyard.

It was pretty romantic, I mean... Well yes it was but we're only friends.

We talked about all sorts of things, such as school, youth group, Amber, my family and his family.

Ace and I are getting a lot closer, as friends. It's pretty tough sometimes, talking to him, especially now... he has cancer. I sometimes think about one of these conversations, being our last, but Ace can see I'm worrying and he'll hug me and hold me close.

We talked for two hours and surprisingly, I never was bored for a second.

"Hey, Ace." I asked.

"Yes Cam?"

"You-you don't remember Saturday night?"

"What about it?" He asked.

"Well, where should I start..?"

"Start from the beginning Camilla, please."

I told him the whole thing from start to finish.

"Then, you told me you wanted to die because I didn't love you. I-is that true?" I cried.

"Camilla, oh gosh..." He sat there shocked.

"Ace, what do you remember?"

"I remember getting mad at my mum because you didn't love me but after that, I can't remember a single thing. I was really drunk... Wasn't I?"

"Yeah..."

"Did I really almost kill myself?" He asked surprised.

"You told me your mum stopped you."

"Why did you come over that night? Keep telling me what happened. I need to know."

"Well, I called Riley because I knew you were upset about something other than you being sick, and I heard you yelling at your mum in the background. You telling her that you didn't understand why I didn't love you back, because you gave me everything." I sobbed.

Ace held me close, hugging me tightly. "Camilla, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened... But how did you know I was going to kill myself?"

"You wrote a suicide note." I whispered.

"What did it say?"

I gave him the note that I still had in my pocket.

Dear Family,

I love you. But things are so hard right now. I don't think I can live any longer. I'll play baseball in heaven with dad!

Having leukemia is going to be so hard, so I'm deciding to take another way out.

Riley, please tell Camilla that she is an amazing girl and she deserves a guy better than me. That's probably why she never loved me.

I never treated her right. I didn't give her everything. Tell her to find someone that will treat her well.