Our Own World

Chapter Sixteen - I Have PTSD?!

Today is the day I go back in for tests. I'm a little nervous about what's going to happen. My parents are sitting in chairs beside my bed waiting for the doctor to come in. Ace told me he wishes he could be here but another round of chemo has taken him out west with his family. I told him to keep me updated.

I kept getting visions of the car crash over and over. Ace screaming at me to watch out as the car is coming towards me, seeing his arms covering my face and my body. I started almost hyperventilating at the thought of the crash. I heard my dad's voice and the images left.

"Cam," my dad sighed. "Are you worried?"

"Um, I guess. It was just weird because I saw things but they weren't actually happening in real life. I kept seeing Ace throwing up but he was fine. And I can't stop thinking of all the bad things that could happen to me."

The doctors came in after a few moments of us just sitting there quietly. I'm confused as to why I saw Ace throwing up. Was it because of the accident?

"How are you feeling Camilla?" The doctor asked.

"Alright I guess," I have no idea what to say, but I know for sure I'm not 'alright'. My boyfriend is dying of cancer, Mary Kate broke up with me, and I got into an accident and almost died. So of course I'm not going to spill my feelings to this doctor. 'Alright' seems like the perfect word. Not great, not bad, just mediocre. No questions need to be asked.

"So, after the tests, we looked over the results. It looks like you may have a case of Post-traumatic stress disorder. It's why you keep thinking back to the crash. You mentioned waking up thinking you're in the car again?"

"Yeah, sometimes I'll wake up and check to make sure I'm not bleeding. And I'm sometimes waking up screaming." I whispered.

"That is a sign of PTSD. You also mentioned that you're afraid to drive anywhere now, which is also a symptom. You are avoiding reminders of the trauma."

"What can we do to help Camilla?" My mother asked.

"Well, some things she can do to recover would be to start exercising. Get active and help yourself mentally and physically, Camilla. Also, make sure to take enough time off from school and work to get the rest you need. Obviously you wouldn't want to fall behind, so getting back into school will benefit you so you won't lose a credit. It would help to start connecting with others again. You should consider going back to classes, slowly and start making friends again. Make sure that if people start asking questions and you get anxious about the situation, try to change the topic for the first little while, while you are trying to get back into the swing of things." My doctor explained.

It seems reasonable to stay resting for a while. I have been trying to keep up with the work but it's kind of stressing me out even more. What if I have to go back another year because I fail my courses?

"You as her family can also help in many ways. Someone who is diagnosed with PTSD will need their space and privacy even more than they normally would. But, you have to be close by, always there for them if they need help. Firstly, you have to be patient with the victim. Try to be understanding if they can't get back into habits as easy as before."

That's all I heard before I started zoning out. My parents seemed to be listening quite well but I couldn't seem to care less. I already heard the things I need to. I sat there thinking about things. I really miss all my friends from youth and school. I've had a lot of visitors lately and they've been asking a lot of questions. It's hard responding without getting anxious. This car crash has really changed my life. I haven't been able to even drive myself anywhere because of what happened. I won't let Ace and I sit in the car alone. I feel unsafe; even if he's the one driving.