Chapter Seventeen - Feelings Are Confusing

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I called Ace today; he was still out in British Colombia. We talked a little.

"How was your appointment yesterday with the doctor?" Ace asked. "Did they explain your episode?"

"They didn't really explain that but they did diagnose me with post-traumatic stress disorder. So that's probably the cause of the episode."

"Wow, Camilla, I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it; they said this normally happens to people after they are involved in an accident. It's not a big deal. So how is everything out in B.C?"

"Good, I've been in the hospital for a few days now, the doctors have been really nice and they've done a few tests on me. Also, I lost my hair. I can't wait until I can comb my hair again." He laughed.

"You look fabulous bald Ace, you can pull it off. How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I'm fine. I don't want to bug you with all this." He sounded upset.

"You're not bugging me; I understand how hard this is for you. I'm asking you because I care about you."

"Yeah but, I don't think I should be putting all of this on you. You have a lot already stirring you up." Ace sighed.

"Nothing you say will stop me from caring about you Ace. I miss you; I haven't seen you in a while. We haven't talked in a long time, and that's why I called you."

"I miss you too Cam. I was thinking a little bit, well a lot, about what Riley did, committing to God rather than Luke, I'm thinking about that too."

"Really? I think that's a great idea Ace."

"Good, I'm glad you're okay with it. I really care about you Camilla but I really feel like I need to commit to God more and spend a lot more time with Him rather than spending so much time with you. I love being with you Cam, don't get me wrong. But you know what I mean."

"Of course, I totally get where you're coming from. And it's not like we're even dating, so you don't really need my input. Just do what you believe is right for you Ace."

After we talked on the phone, we sent each other some snapchats with the dog filter and the voice changer filters. I miss him, but the photos we send back and forth make me feel a little bit better about him being away.

~~

So Ace and I texted a few texts back and forth today.

"Hey I felt like you needed a bible verse today so I wanted to share this one with you. I kinda want to talk a little more about what you were saying today.

2 Timothy 2:22 - "So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."

"Thank you so much for understanding, this is what I needed. Do you want to text or would you rather facetime?

"If you're comfortable we can,"

Ace and I talked for about an hour over our phones. We talked for a while and I told him about Ben. He seemed to be a little upset that I was going out to talk to Ben but I assured him that Ben knew I wasn't interested in dating him.

"Don't worry Ace, I told him I'm not interested. Plus, why does it matter to you, you're not dating anyone. You've made that commitment remember?"

"Yes but I don't want you going out with Ben. I still love you and I still want you to be with me."

"But you don't get it. Ben said he would be happy for me and be willing to give me up if we weren't meant to be together. Wouldn't you do the same?"

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