You Are Still Here

Chapter 5

In their classmates' eyes, Cheng Zheng's and Yun Jin's relationship didn't change post 'sanitary pad incident'. Cheng Zheng still messed with her and Su Yun Jin wouldn't react but maintain her silence. Everyone knew not to bring up that incident again, not that anyone even dared to. The matter was glossed over, as though it had never happened. But Cheng Zheng was worried deep down; what had transpired between them should have altered their relationship. What was worse was he couldn't read Yun Jin's expression and the more she kept silent, the more unsettled he felt.

Sometimes Cheng Zheng wished she would turn nasty and perhaps even slap him or call him a jerk. Then perhaps he would feel better. It would also prove that the kiss really did happen and wasn't a figment of his imagination. Whether she overheard his parting words, whether she knew how he really felt about her, whatever it was, she shouldn't be so indifferent.

Cheng Zheng no longer fired vicious words at her but he still loved to rock her chair. When she would turn back with a furrow, he would grin at her. She was lithe, and sometimes, he could just make out her white bra-straps under the blue uniform thinned-out from countless washings. Cheng Zheng always reigned in his thoughts before they got out of hand; as it was, everytime he caught a glimpse his face would flush and his heart would palpitate madly. Many years later, whenever Cheng Zheng recalled those summer days in year three, how he would look at her from behind, he would feel nostalgic.

However infatuated Cheng Zheng was with her, he could not deny that Yun Jin was no good at her studies. In fact, he could not remember a time when she had passed Math class. What was even more exasperating was that whenever she got stuck with a problem sum, she would merely stare at her paper when there he was behind her practically screaming internally ask me ASK ME! And when she simply could not solve it, she would only turn to Song Ming for guidance but never him.

Now Song Ming might have topped in English, but his grasp on Math and Chemistry was just average. Cheng Zheng would eavesdrop agonizingly as Song Ming tried to guide Yun Jin but all he would make out of it was a bunch of longwinded nonsense that got Yun Jin nowhere. Funnily enough, both Yun Jin and Song Ming remained calm even though their discussions never made Yun Jin any wiser. It was Cheng Zheng, the witness to the proceedings, who was all agitated.

Finally, one day, he couldn't stand seeing Su Yun Jin pondering over another classic ten-year-series algebra sum. When he passed her desk during break time, he tossed a sheet of paper detailing the steps to solving it as well as the thought process on her desk before making a quick escape. When he returned to his seat however, he found her approaching him holding the same piece of paper up.

Before she could speak, he interjected quickly with a beetroot face, "Don't overthink this. I just can't endure stupidity."

Yun Jin replied casually "You're the one overthinking things. I just want to clarify what you wrote."

"Puahaha!" The pair turned in the direction of the chuckle. It was Song Ming who was laughing. When he made eye-contact with them however, he gestured for them to please continue before immersing himself in his study material once again.

Cheng Zheng ignored him and took the paper from Yun Jin's hold. "Which word can't you make out? Sigh, you just won't admit you're stupid. Oh this word is..."

In the following days, the students sitting in their vicinity were astounded to observe that Su Yun Jin's and Cheng Zheng's interactions had increased and improved. Whenever she was stumped in English, she would turn to Song Ming for help. When she was baffled by any of the other subjects, she would invariably turn to Cheng Zheng with a low voice.

Although Cheng Zheng always looked as though he was irritated by her requests, he was always meticulous in his explanations. He had no patience however. Should Yun Jin remain clueless or unable to follow his explanations, he would become testy. In such moments, Su Yun Jin would not argue or converse with him any further and would simply turn her back on him, allowing him to continue stewing in his impatience. But before a half-hour was up, Cheng Zheng would poke Yun Jin in her back and initiate conversation with a "Actually, I wasn't done explaining just now, come I'll continue......"