You Are Still Here

Chapter 20

During this period each faculty was given three special passes and all were kept by the respective faculty heads. Unless it was urgent, the heads would never loan the passes. Fortunately for Yun Jin, her persistence paid off and she managed to secure one of the coveted passes. Of course her helping out at the administrative department was a huge contributing factor.

The pass was only in effect from 0730 to 2200. That is, if she failed to return to school before then, she would be denied entry and be severely punished as a result.

Yun Jin hurried out the school gates and went up to Cheng Zheng. Although they were now in touching distance, she did not know what to say and they looked at each other cautiously.

It was Yun Jin who said the opener "It seems you're used to making an entrance without so much as a heads-up."

Cheng Zheng rebutted her in a pained tone – he had clearly stated last night that he was on his way over.

Yun Jin thought back to the events of the night before and realized the poor connection must have been at fault for the message not being delivered.

"You were crying so fiercely you worried me." Cheng Zheng continued "You haven't told me why you were crying. Did someone bully you? Or maybe a quarrel ... with your boyfriend?"

Yun Jin picked up on his true motive in asking right away "Other than you, I don't think anyone else would bully me."

Seeing Cheng Zheng break into a grin she added "Besides, if I had really quarrelled with my boyfriend, how would your being here help in any way?"

Cheng Zheng had no comeback. After a period he said "Well whether you believe me or not, I came today with no other intention. I just needed to know you're fine. Actually, back then, when I had returned home, I was so mad at you. What you said that night made me feel like everything I had ever done for you was foolish and unappreciated. I decided then never to bother with you again – you would have your freedom and I would learn from my stupidity. But as time passed, I actually found myself agreeing with your perspective. The moment I first laid eyes on you, I already decided that since I like you, you shouldn't have any reason not to accept me. What you felt was unimportant as long as I could make you my girlfriend."

Seeing Yun Jin smile, he continued "Perhaps I'm really not that bright when it comes to matters of the heart. After we lost contact, I finally realised why I was never happy. That's because you were never happy. I cared too much about your every emotion. In the past two months, I've been following my architecture cohort to various places: Jiang Zhe, Xiang Xi, Yun Gui. All the places were beautiful and had architecture that complimented the landscape. Many times, I would look at these magnificent structures and wondered how perfect it would be if you were by my side at that very moment. What I really need is not you trailing behind me but you standing next to me so we can enjoy our every moment together. It's a pity I realised this too late."

Yun Jin saw that he had finished speaking but maintained her silence as usual.

Cheng Zheng repositioned his duffel bag that was slung over his shoulder as he bowed his head and said "I had just arrived in Beijing from Yunnan yesterday when I had a sudden urge to hear your voice so I called you. Now that I see you're fine, I should make a move now."

Although Cheng Zheng said he would make a move, deep down he hoped that Yun Jin would ask him to stay. He was disappointed at her non-reaction and he turned around dully to make his way back. He dragged his feet for a few metres before hearing Yun Jin call out "The airport and train station are places with high human traffic. You shouldn't have come in such times. Since you're here, why are you so eager to again risk getting infected? If you're not in a rush to return to campus, why don't you stay until the danger period has passed?"