You Are Still Here

Chapter 31

Let's break up Yun Jin ...

Yun Jin woke up with a start to find herself alone in the big room. The voice from her nightmare seemed to reverberate throughout the empty room.

She sat up in bed and glanced at the alarm clock – it was already five in the morning. She didn't feel sleepy anymore so she poured herself some water and seated herself in front of her make-up counter.

What should a twenty-seven year old female be like? Should they be like roses – with petals in full glory only to wither in the next instant? Had she reached her peak? Yun Jin stroked her face gently. It had been over three years. To be exact, it had been forty-one months. When was the last time she thought of him, of that familiar voice?

She pulled open her drawer and rummaged about till she found the sole remaining aquamarine earring. She clutched it tightly in her hand; its coolness stung her. The heartfelt words he spoke when he was putting them on her echoed in her ears. Unfortunately, she ultimately lost one of them just as she and Cheng Zheng had lost each other.

Cheng Zheng, Cheng Zheng ... The person who used to lie so close to her could also be lost to the crowds. She no longer remembered the details of the fateful night. Afterall, a person's memory is programmed to protect herself. All she knew was the moment she stepped out of his apartment, the two of them never met again. How big was the city that the both of them never met again? The Heavens could allow lovers to reunite in any corner of the Earth but never once orchestrated a meeting between them in these long four years; could it be that it was punishing them for not having loved deeply enough?

What would be considered to have loved deeply? In the initial two months post-breakup, his shadow lingered everywhere. In every street, every corner, she would see what appeared to be a familiar silhouette. Every night, in both dreams and nightmares, he was there. But over time, it occurred less frequently. Time was a potent entity – it really did make everything better. The good and bad times had all become blurry memories of the past. Eventually, she no longer dreamed of him.

Maybe Cheng Zheng was right, she was a cold unfeeling person. In this regard, she was lucky because this personality helped her feel less heartbroken. There was once Yu Hua said although Yun Jin never did find out if it was intentional or not "From a medical perspective, losing the sense of pain is abnormal and rather dangerous. If one doesn't know the sensation of pain, then she would not be aware of how badly she has been hurt."

Sometimes, she was envious of the lead actors in drama serials. When they fell out of love and decide to abandon everything to roam the Earth, they would return years later to find everything had changed. But she was no female lead. In reality, to travel overseas, one needed to have some semblance of wealth. People as ordinary as her could only be contented with finding their bearings again in their original beat-down spot after wallowing in the mud of self-pity. After wiping all traces of dirt from their face, they could only limp forward with their injuries intact. Since she didn't die then, she had to live well. She had to eat, had to pay for housing, had to support her family ... She did not have the luxury of floundering in her sorrow till she felt confident enough to face the world again. Time plodded on steadily and so should she.

In that few years, the company sat up and started to pay attention to the Su Yun Jin from the Marketing department. The girl who looked timid and meek, who had very little to say and who never commented on matters that didn't concern her, turned out to be surprisingly capable. Whatever task she was assigned, she could be trusted to execute it to her best ability. If you gave her half a month to complete an assignment, she would work at it meticulously and produce an almost flawless proposal. If the same assignment had a half-day deadline, she would still finish it on schedule no matter what. While it wouldn't be as optimal a result, one wouldn't be able to pick up any faults on general inspection. That was the standard of her efficiency.