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WITNESS -
As I stood there, witnessing one of the most difficult situations of another human, I kinda regretted doing what I did.
The guilt and pain was something i felt right at that moment. I got trouble breathing as I watched the poor boy's expression fading as he fell down on his knees.
I had no clue of what had happened to that young boy's younger sister, but when he heard that she died, he broke down, not being able to believe it.
and I felt it too. I felt like falling down too. Because I did attempt to commit suicide. If Hoseok didn't show up at that time, the boy in front of me would be Hoseok founding out that his bestfriend committed suicide.
The thought made me wanna cry and apologise and just forget and never attempt something like this again. But I somehow couldn't help but want to take my own life. Because I was disgusting.
I loved my bestfriend. A boy. I loved a boy. I was homosexual. and in this fucked up it wasn't okay. In this world I wasn't normal. In this world I used to be a taboo until just a mere few years ago. I didn't belong here.
I hated myself for feeling like this. Why did I have to fall for my bestfriend? I admit he looked good, made me smile a lot more which was what made people wonder how, since I didn't really like to show what I felt in expressions.
He was a kind and talented person. He just wasn't feeling the same way. I couldn't blame him though. He did say he was straight. For gods sake he had a girlfriend.
But it felt good to see him flustered. When I was standing in that room half naked. He had seen it before but this time his reaction was, better.
I actually knew he was about to come in again as I took of my shirt and decided to take a while putting on the other one. To gain a reaction. To just see his face. and boy did I like his flustered face. It gave me hope.
And even though it's called stupidity, I chose to believe on the small amount of chance that he might love me back...one day.
For real.
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twentieth chapter! I honestly tend to forget that small percentage of hope all the time. It's not good for me, lil meow meow better teach me.
