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ILLUSION -
head spinning, strong light and a really familiar sound was what I woke up to. I had to cough a bit, feeling a bitter taste in my mouth, slightly in the gulps too.
Was this how paradise was? Bright and dead? Bitter? Did it even exist? Why did it feel like I was alive? Why did this happen?
I gazed around and tried to recognise the place, and as I succeeded, I realised I was in my balcony, on the floor, where I had died unexpectedly just a few minutes ago. Or at least, it felt like minutes. It passed by too fast. so out of nowhere. I had died.
I had fulfilled a wish I had had for a long time. The "take my life away" wish. The wish made me realise that was not what I truly wished. I regretted it at the last second.
I let out a laugh in frustration when I realised I was alive, but I also felt tears of happiness.
They rolled down my cheeks, almost dozing my ears off, making it hard to hear my own frustrated laugh.
Maybe god existed? Gave me a second chance when I begged. But how could that be true? Why would I get a second chance?
I really had been playing with my own life for months, so if god existed and could give humans a second chance, I wouldn't be one of those humans.
After a while of me sitting there, pulling my hair, feeling my skin, touching the floor, feeling my beating heart, hearing my breaths, I let out a soft smile, and whether god gave me a chance or not, I felt thankful.
I was alive. The panic was over as i hugged my legs closer to myself, thanking whoever saved me.
But would I be happy like this? After all those times wishing to die, did I really want to be alive now?
Was this an illusion?
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twenty-third chapter! Oh look, navii played y'all and added illusion as a whole ass chapter :)))) god I am so fucking dumb..
