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OVER -
I liked how the water flushed over my hair, wetting my straws of hair, the hair plastering against my skin and the water rolling down along my shape.
The water was turning warmer since I felt like I deserved a hot shower. One I hadn't had in a long time.
The main purpose of these hot showers was to get a piece of mind for yourself to think about. To relieve some stress. To find some answers. To relax. To realise how my feelings are.
Why did I react like that towards a body I've seen thousands of times before? Why did I feel so awkwardly attracted to it? Why?
I hit my fists against the wall as I let out a growl, fighting the images of him half naked. The water kept rolling down my body and I angrily pulled the shampoo tube off as I poured the consistence on my hand before smacking it against my hair.
I started to wash my hair, moving the shampoo down my body, trying to wash myself clean. But I couldn't, the thoughts about my best friend left me ashamed.
I couldn't even separate them, the drops on my face. Were they tears or plain water?
After taking an hour long shower, trying to wash off my feelings and thoughts and obviously failing, I decided to call her.
Mika.
With heavy breath and needing body, I waited impatiently for her to answer.
The signals rang of for exactly three times before she picked up.
"Babyyyy, hii"
I took a sharp breath as I slightly panicked. I didn't feel like talking to her all of a sudden but I knew I had to do it. It was a now or never thing.
"Hello"
I heard a breathe of relief leave her mouth.
"I-i missed you"
"You sure did"
"I-Hoseok I'm sorry for that da-"
"Listen, just answer my questions or else I will hang up"
I heard her gasp as she tried to talk but my words hit her too hard. I didn't feel a single bit of pitying. I was completely bold. I had hurt enough.
"Okay"
her voice sounded so weak and fragile but I still hated her.
"What happened that day?"
She sobbed before she took a deep breathe, her breathe heating the phone speaker and ringing in my ears. I remained calm, but deep down I knew it was going to hurt a ounce.
"I don't know who he was. He kept saying he liked me and I kept saying I liked you and that I was in a relationship with you. But he pleaded and pleaded with cero anticipation about me or my words. So we decided to meet in the toilets and I chose the men toilet to avoid others seeing us-"
Her voice cracked as my fist clenched around my phone.
"-he told me he really loved me and I got really mad. I tried to be kind and think about Jimin being an orphan. I hugged him back when he hugged me. I comforted him but only because he was so lonely. He didn't even have parents. This day. I got mad. I called him things and yelled at him and he kissed me.."
I let out a sharp breath as I held back the tears. So she did know him.
"I kissed back but just because I was going to ignore him from then on. I told him that he was stupid! I said I loved you and then you came-"
" shut up Mika. "
I shouted as I threw the phone away. I heard her voice and how she panicked and told me to listen and stop.
I took the phone and calmed down a little.
"S-shall I be really honest with you, Mika?"
I heard her hum as she sobbed. Guilt.
"I feel more bad for that Jimin boy. You lead him on and you seem to know him very well which you said you didn't. You broke two hearts, three including your own. Whether you loved me or not, it's over"
I heard her voice shakily whisper a why before I quickly hang up before I smashed my phone against the door, fell back on my bed and cried.
I wanted to die.
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twenty-first chapter! I'm so sad for making hoseok like this, he is honestly my ray of sunshine and I feel reaaaaally bad for making him kinda homophobic and heartbroken geez someone come at me!
