There is a dark side to disability. It seems to be greater among men than women, but it still exists. Sexual Sin. The answer is not in the sin, but what caused the person to deal with their problems in a sinful manner. No different than why an alcoholic drinks or a drug addict abuses drugs. For people to say, you need to stop because it's wrong is very insensitive and will not solve the problem. You are different, broken, undesirable, ugly, asexual. You are seen almost like a child. You can be smart, intelligent, and funny,but definitely not seen as a sexual being. The opposite sex doesn't see you as equal or even as a possible candidate. The more "normal" you appear, the better chance you've got. If you have a limited circle of friends, it's worse. Isolation is a killer! People turn to pornography, homosexuality, and prostitution. With the internet so readily available, there is easy access to porn. Pictures, Videos, and chat are at your fingertips. Don't even have to leave home. Of course, some venture out to the occassional strip club, but that gets costly. For the right price, one can hire an "escort" and get whatever you want. Hopefully, you are smart enough to pratice safe sex and avoid getting what you don't want. Then, there's the homosexual hang outs. Bars and clubs. Homosexuals are more sympathetic to the disabled because they are different also. If you are lucky, you may receive services for free.
The problem is not found in the sin itself; sin is the result. The problem is self. Believing you are unloved, ugly, undesirable, different, defective, not man or woman enough.... and the list goes on. People can reject the idea all they want, but sex is a part of everyday life and it needs to be discussed. Everyone wants to be physically attractive or sexy. When you go on a date, you strive to look your best so that you are physically or sexually appealing to your date. In most cases, physical attraction is what gets the opposite sexes initial attention. Obviously, physical attraction alone does not make a lasting relationship. However, it gets your foot in the door. When you're disabled, you're working at 50 to 75%, if you're one of the lucky ones. You want to love and be loved so badly that you overcompensate. You smother the person that you love and wind up pushing them away. Now you're not only defective, you're psychotic as well. Labeled as stalker, crazy, possessive and obsessive. What happens when you spend day after day being rejected and ignored? It's like you don't even exist. Like you are staring out the window watching life go by, but never actually living it. You search for love and acceptance, but it's just another slamming door. You just want to feel alive. You just want to matter. Would anyone care if I died tomorrow?
Descartes said, "I think therefore I am." I remember in 7th grade, we had the option of writing an essay on this statement. I didn't get it then, but I do now. You are whatever you choose to believe. What you think you are will be seen by other people. If you think you are ugly, then the world will perceive you as ugly too. The person that is hardest to convince is you. Above all else, who should we be listening too? People whose opinions change depending on what mood they're in? People who are quick to judge before someone else can find something different about them? No! The Lord made us and HIS opinion is higher than any other. In Genesis, God said everything he made was "good". In Psalms, David said that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. In Jeremiah, God has plans for us to give us HOPE and a future. In John, He died for us. But he also rose again conquering sin and the grave. Through out God's word, He tells us how much he loves us. That's what matters most.
