I had a dream last night that I was in a room with three other people. All of them were verbally attacking me at some point or another. Person #1 was spewing out all kinds of hurtful and untrue statements. Every time I tried to rebut, the person cut me off and talked even louder drowning out my response as if I had been saying nothing at all. Person #2 appeared to be trying to listen to me, but was taken in by person #1. Person #2 turned their face away from me looking now at #1. Person #2 could no longer hear me at all. Person #3 didn't even give me an opportunity to speak. Person #3 just rambled without breaking for air. The more I tried to speak over them, the louder they got. Finally, out of complete anger and frustration I yelled out an obscene explitive. Of course my explicit exclamation only fueled them more. There was nothing I could do.
Invisibility. One superpower I wouldn't want. Many times I feel invisible. When you're in a store and someone is trying to pass, they do not even speak. They step in front of you or over you like a piece of furniture; an inanimate object. You are disposable. You're not of much use. People say that's not true, but their actions say something different. No dinner invitations or girls nights out! Some people go so far as to make you feel like you're in the way. No friendly conversation. Not a priority. No real connection. It takes effort to be my friend. Last minute plans are impossible due to transportation restrictions, accessibility, and cost. Most people don't think ahead or their schedules are so packed that they are not able to plan ahead. The older you get, the harder it is. I'm too old to hang out at bars and clubs. Friends get married so now they hang out with other married couples. They have new responsibilities and children. If there is a free moment they are sleeping. So, where does that leave me? Alone.
