Pretty Brown Eyes

Chapter 30

** WARNING **

This chapter contains explicit content. Readers who are young, or immature, are not intended to read this chapter. Reader discretion is advised.

« Kenna's Point of View »

"I'm thinking of breaking up with Aaron," I said, already feeling the tears.

Her eyes grew wide, "What? Why?"

"I honestly don't feel it anymore," I said.

"Are you trying to mess with us? Like when he said he was breaking up with you because he didn't feel it anymore?" she asked, "Because if so, stop. It's not funny."

"I'm not trying to mess with anyone," I said, "and it's not the same as that. I'm in love with him, I am. I always have been, and I always will be."

"Then why are you thinking of breaking that off, Kenna? None of this is making sense to me."

"Because although I know I'm in love with him, I don't feel it like I used to, and we aren't in love with each other like we used to be. I don't feel the butterflies when he kisses me anymore. I don't blush when he calls me beautiful anymore. I don't wait hours on end for him to text or call me anymore. When we talk, it's all serious. We never really play around anymore, and we just never really show each other that we're still madly in love with the other person," I choked back tears, "and it's an awful thing that neither Aaron or I deserve to be put through.

"It's been like this for months, and I've felt like this for months. I thought that, in the beginning, things would get better. I thought that we were just going through a rough patch, but we're not. We have to take a step back and think, 'Is this how I want to live for the rest of my life? With these feelings I'm feeling right now?' and my answer is no. I don't want to feel this way forever. I want to feel the way you and Taylor feel about each other. I can tell you two are so in love because you show it. Every time he compliments you, you're face turns pink, and every time you two kiss, you smile after whenever he turns away," I said.

She was smiling through tears.

"I want to feel that, and I guess I just can't feel that with Aaron anymore," my voice cracked.

"You're going to make me cry," she said.

"You're already crying," I pointed out.

"And so are you."

But I knew that.

"I love him more than anyone in this entire world could love another person. I care about him more than anything, and I want nothing more than for him to be genuinely happy, and he's not genuinely happy with me, and that sucks," I felt a tear roll down my face. "But I'm not genuinely happy with him, either, which sucks even more."

"You know," Madi said, "I knew something was different, but I just thought it could be fixed. You two are honestly the one couple I thought would get married, have kids, and live the happiest tale of love, but I guess not."

"That's how I feel for you and Taylor," I said, "and I know it's going to stay that way. And who the hell knows? Maybe Aaron and I will wind up getting married and having kids. It's definitely still a possibility. However, we are only 16-turning-17. We've got a long time before any of that is even decided on."

"You're right," she said. "It's going to be weird not all hanging out together."

"Who says we can't? I'm not dropping him out of my life, and I hope he doesn't drop me out of his. We are still going to be friends, at least. He's my first love, and that's not something I can just throw away."