No Homo Tho <3 || [Bronnie]

57

RV: Happy Father's Day!

BF: oh no

RV: what do you mean "oh no" you bitch, I'm recognizing your fatherhood

BF: I'm sorry, I was just thinking you were gonna do

BF: . . .

BF: something else

RV: oh what? That I'd drunkenly text you, calling you """daddy"""? Joke that you're MY dad?? That on this father's day I'd hope for you to slam the living hell out of me???

RV: no, I'm not like that, Brandon

BF: okay! I'm sorry!!

RV: it's okay ;)

RV: . . .

RV: . . .

RV: . . .

RV: daddy

BF: there it is

RV: I couldn't help myself!!! Tana isn't  going to do it, so I gotta!!!!

RV: it's in my contract

BF: of course Tana wouldn't because I'm actually the father of her children!!!

RV: . . .

RV: . . .

RV: . . .

RV: . . .

RV: . . .

RV: . . .

RV: *audio message*

RV: [whispers to the point where his words are almost inaudible] I wish you were the father of my children

BF: R O N N I E!

RV: yes dad

BF: you're ruining Father's Day ☹️

RV: bullshit I know you're having a laugh in the bathroom, locked away from your family because there's no greater shame than giggling over your pal, who's technically your co-worker, calling you daddy because your wife won't

BF: she

RV: she...? 😏

RV: how could I forget

RV: heart

RV: of

RV: a

RV: girl

RV: ?

BF: WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS

RV: yeah yeah yeah, you couldn't think of anything else, it's the whole reason why you don't think battle born is strong enough, if Tana were to actually call you daddy you WOULDN'T actually mind or whatever blah blah blah

RV: But daddy, daddy, daddy!

BF: oh my gosh I should just block your number

RV: who else is going to answer to your snack demands at 3 in the morning on tour?

BF: fuck

RV: that's right daddy 😘